struggling with conviction

I went to the Ecumenical Worship Service that is held every Monday morning. It gave me an excuse to walk to work with Emma. I was very glad I went. We sang a song that I really liked. I remember one part of the refrain that said "We are struggling with conviction." This does NOT mean that we are struggling with what we believe. But instead it means that we are struggling in this world and with this world and for this world with the conviction that Jesus brings. Often in services I am reminded, through music or preaching or reading the Bible, that we are not struggling for the sake of the struggle. Instead we are struggling with conviction. We are struggling with this conviction that the struggle is worth it - it is bigger than we are. We know the hope that Jesus brings. I am glad I went to that worship service this morning. During the service we said the Lord's Prayer. The priest invited us to all say the prayer in our native language. Since this is an international and ecumenical environment that meant not many people were saying the prayer loudly or in English. I had trouble remembering it. I am so glad, because it made me remember that my faith and my prayers are not (and should not) be something rote. In my prayers at Church I had been taking pleasure in the fact that I still knew all the prayers by heart. Yet today, the most common prayer, I could not say. I think God is laughing at me.

My life here has been a bit overwhelming in the past few weeks. I have been struggling with finding housing as well as finding my footing in a new job and a new country. I need to be reminded often that I am not here simply because of my own desire. I am here because I feel called to be here; I see the mission of the WSCF and the mission of Jesus and my mission merging at this moment in my life. The worship this morning helped me to see that I am here, struggling with conviction.

Michael came back today. We had a small celebration for him. It was very nice! I am glad that he is back. I finally met him. I have moved into a new office. I am also moving this afternoon into the foyer. I am not all that excited about it - but I think it will be good for at least a month. It will be nice to finally unpack! I have been in two different places now, but I have not yet stopped living out of a suitcase. I am looking forward to having a "permanent" home, if only temporarily.

A frequent commenter on my blog asked me about Palm Sunday. Yesterday was Palm Sunday in my tradition, the Episcopal Church. It was similar and different to what I am used to experiencing. I do enjoy the pomp that goes with the ending of this season. Although Lent is usually very dark and somber, Easter is a chance for renewal and light. I saw small differences, but really, I feel like the Episcopal Church here is very similar to the different Episcopal Churches I've been to back in United States.