Evian - like the water

On Saturday, one of my friends, who happens to have a car, suggested that we go somewhere. In our very prepared way we decided to go to Annecy. However, none of us thought about finding directions or even having a map. So, we decided to do the next best thing: just drive. We left about 3 in the afternoon, with the promise of rain from the weatherman, with no idea how to get to Annecy. As we left the house we saw a sign that said : Evian, this way. With that small sign our plans changed. We decide to go to Evian instead. As you may, or may not, know Evian water comes from a town in France on Lac Léman (Lake Geneva in English). We drove the 30 or so kilometres to Evian. (With a stop in a small French bakery for a baguette and a Swedish sandwich). The whole trip was rather beautiful. It is amazing to think that I can on a whim just decide to spend a Saturday afternoon driving around the French countryside.

We found the "source" of Evian water, we wandered around the small town a bit, had a picnic of the bread and cheese that we bought in a "fromagerie" that smelled of feet, as all good cheese shops should. We also sat in a small cafe and drank coffee and ate crepes. The weather, obligingly, was warm and sunny. (The weathermen were decidedly wrong, as they usually are here in Geneva. They had predicted a cold, rainy weekend. Instead, we had very warm weather with little to no rain. It was actually a gorgeous weekend.) Our spur of the moment tip to Evian was worth it.

As for work, I am still working on Student World. I am spending a lot of time going through old articles. Some of them are fascinating. Some are boring. Some are racist - although I am judging them by my very post-modern deconstructionist standard. Some are laughable. It is a joy to read these articles and see what people in my Federation thought so long ago. Very interesting.

Friday and no where to go

I am planning a trip to Cannes. (I spent the academic year 2007-2008 there) I was planning on going July 10, but then due to some reasons I thought that date might not work. So I talked to my friends and we thought (for about 2 days) that we would go this weekend. I got my hopes all up and I got all excited! Now we are back to the original date. I guess I have to wait to two weeks before I can actually go!

In between I am going to do quite a lot. I am going to the UNESCO Conference on Higher Education in Paris. I am sort of excited about it. I am glad to be going to Paris. It's such a wonderful city, but I don't know enough about the conference yet to be too excited. I have started my research. It is a long process. Luckily I have about a week to finish it. I think it will be tiring. I also do not know anyone in Paris, except for my fellow intern that is going with me. I am glad we are going together. I am also working rather hard on Student World. It would be nice if I could get it all finished before I go to Paris. (By all finished, I mean the articles typed up, not done completely). That way we could work on designing it and then get it published ASAP.

I am amazed that in this age of technology we have trouble putting out one a year when for decades from the naughts to the 60's they managed to put out a quarterly journal. We are working hard in the office to fix that. I wonder if the excessive amount of communication actually makes for less information. It's like the 24 hour news cycle. They have to ALWAYS have something on the TV so usually they are not actually saying anything. So you just tune them out. When they do actually say something no one is listening. More communication going on, but less exchanging of information. Perhaps that is just me. I am rather lazy so I tend to ignore things and just read what is right in front of me.

Slow, Slow, Slow

This week is going very slowly. It is nice because I am not working at the break neck pace that I had been working last week. Although, somehow I feel slightly guilty about that. This week is also going by very slowly.

There is not much to tell about this week, so far. I have been working on Student World. I am enjoying reading old articles. For 2008 (yes, I do realize it is actually 2009) we are doing a centennial edition. Student World was first published in 1908. So this edition will be a collection of old articles. I am going through the old articles and that is interesting. I feel connected to the past in a very real way. I am also excited to be doing the work that I came here to do.

Impact

You never know what impact you will have. You never know what effects your decisions will have on other people. I recently got an email from someone I have never met that found my blog through searching the internet for "taizé" This is not too surprising since I often write about Taizé and I even had a two whole posts on it here and here. I was surprised when I read this email and I was flattered. I know that people I do not know and have never met are reading my blog. I assumed this because I don't know anyone in Indonesia, for example. I was surprised that my words had such meaning for someone that they went out of their way to tell me so. I am very glad that this person did. This person is preparing a trip to Taizé in the near future and I am glad that my words inspired the trip. I was actually talking to a German girl in my residence hall just yesterday about Taizé. She said she liked it because there was no forcing of doctrine. That is also one reason I like it.

My friend left yesterday and now I am back at work. Thinking about what the next step will be. Thinking about what the next activity will be. This week should be slightly more relaxed because both of my bosses are off to Jordan to evaluate a project we have there. I am slightly envious of them - getting to go off and work like this. I know it will be tiring for them, though. The support staff in my office, the accountant and the administrative assistant are also out this week. They are on vacation. Our office is very quiet. I like it. I also feel less urgency to do work. Hopefully that will change. We will see. (Posting on this blog is one very good way I can procrastinate - that and facebook).

Publications, Publications, Publications. Now that we have successfully sent off Red Book and Federation News it is time to start on Student World. We are still working on Student World 2008. I am hoping to do both 2008 and 2009 this year so that next year at least the intern will not have to play catch up. It will be a lot of work, but I am looking forward to it. We'll see how it goes....

Developing Friendships

Last night one of my friends here invited me to her house for dinner. It was lovely. I felt, almost for the first time here, that I just relaxed and hung out with a friend. Yesterday was my three month arrival anniversary. I arrived three months ago to the day. Since I have been doing so much work here and I have learned so much about myself and met so many new people I have forgotten that I have been here only three months. Last night I was reminded of how long it takes to build true friendship. I am beginning to feel that I am beginning to get to know the people that I have met here. There was something in me that had been pushing me to have these deep friendships instantly with everyone I met. However, that is not possible. Instead, I am learning to build slowly the friendships that are important. I am learning to take small steps instead of trying to take giant leaps.

Another of my friends arrived today to visit me. She and I went to college together, but she is currently studying in London. It was so nice to see her. It is amazing to think back to the person I was in college. To remember the person that she knew. It is also nice, though, to be around someone that I have known more than 3 months. I have known her for 5 years. We have history. We know people in common, we have a shared experience. I am very glad to see her.

It is good for me to have both of these friends. The friends that I am just coming to see how blessed my life is to have them in it and the friends that I already know how blessed I am because of them. It makes me realize just how blessed I am. God is giving me amazing experiences and amazing people to share them with. Thank You.

On another note: this weekend is Fete de la musique. I am very excited about it - I will be going to concerts all weekend! I'll write more about that on Monday.

Listening

I had not really been following the news in Iran. I was informed enough to know there are major protests going on there because of an election. Yet the details escaped me.

A few nights ago I was sitting in my building dining room having Italian Risotto (made by an Italian) with some friends. A Iranian young woman who lives in my foyer was asked about her family. She shared with us that her family is safe in Tehran, however the people that are protesting are not. The police are attacking anyone that is on the streets. Interestingly, the opposition leaders that "lost" the election a few days ago urged people not to come out and protest for their own safety. She shared that the police had invaded a student dormitory in the middle of the night to beat people. She had seen videos on YouTube. She had heard about it through Facebook - even though the Iranian government is working hard to suppress access to the internet.

I listened to her tell this story of what her friends were doing. I listened to her tell about the activities going on there. I listened as she told that she would not go home as planned because of safety. I listened to her story.

Often in my work at the International level I do not have "time" to listen to people. I have to write a proposal and find statistics and tell everyone how great my program is. I wish I had more opportunities to listen to people tell their own stories and the stories of their families and friends. I cannot have the experience of being an Iranian woman living through this time, but I can attempt to understand what that feels like by listening. Simply listening.

Summer time

It is feeling like summer here in Geneva. This weekend we had beautiful weather. It was about 85 degrees Fahrenheit and 30 degrees Celsius. I think that is about the perfect temperature - it could be a few degrees warmer, but I like it. It was nice and sunny on Saturday. I went down to the lake with some friends and just sat and enjoyed the lake and the crowds of people that had decided to also enjoy the lake front there. Just beautiful.

I am back to work now and even though it is a little cloudier today the weather is still pretty nice. However, instead of being out by the lake I am in an office with a window open so that I can listen to the sounds of birds muffled by the sounds of traffic and airplanes. Ahh.. Geneva.

Work is going rather well. I am doing some funding applications that I hope are promising. I am also working on a project with the WCC about eradication of violence against women that I am very excited about. This project is really just starting to get off the ground and I am looking forward to being able to see it through. This morning we spent a large portion of our meeting discussing the different forms of violence against women. You have to know what you are fighting against. I realized just how pervasive this violence is and how even I, a white woman from the United States have internalized the opopressive ideas and actions that contribute to violence. I suppose that is why this project is going to be useful. By sharing stories of hope and overcoming this violence we can show women like me, and women all over the world that change is possible. I hope and pray that this project will work out. It is going to take a lot of work - but I am looking forward to it.

Tracking my blog

One of the first things I did when I started this blog was to install a tracking code. Through google analytics I can find out how many people visit my blog etc. (Actually I can find out quite a bit of information - like where people come from and how long they stay and what site refers them and if they found my blog through a search engine, which words they typed - sort of creepy, eh?)

Up until May, the number of hist on my blog has been steadily increasing. I liked that. It made me feel like this blog thing was really a good idea. More and more people were checking it out - maybe this blog was actually serving a purpose. I also liked to guess who was visiting my blog from Ireland and who in Zurich or India is reading my blog. I have an idea - but as I have a few friends in Dublin I don't know which one of them is the one reading my blog - or if it's all of them. It made me feel like my friends back in the US (which is by far the country with the most hits - understandably) had not forgotten about me. Who is reading my blog in Florida?

In May, I noticed that my numbers were going down. I started to wonder if people had forgotten about me. I was starting to feel like there was no point for me to post anymore because fewer people are reading this blog. I was also much busier at work so I had less time to look at the map and see exactly where the people in China had come from. I had less time for my blog. I was also feeling generally stressed and did not feel like I had positive things to share. All of this led to me posting less. If you notice, I posted a total of 9 blog updates in May, compared with 18 in April. The point of this is that, in actuality it was not my friends that changed their reading habits - it was me that had changed. I couldn't see that though.

I think this is a good life lesson. When we think other people have a problem we should first look at ourselves and see how we relate to the issue. I thought my friends were just forgetting about me - in reality I was forgetting to tell them about me. The total number of hits did not drop as dramatically as my posts. That actually means that my friends are more loyal than I am. I need to remember this so that next time I think someone else has a problem I can stop and see if I'm really the one with the problem.

There is a prayer by St. Francis that goes like this :

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life!

I hope that I can live this prayer -after all prayer is how we live our lives.

Cultural Experiences

I have a few cultural experiences to write to share. One, happened on Sunday while I was at a friend's apartment here in Geneva. Both are from other parts of the world. I went over to just hang out, but then we decided to cook together because it was about that time. No plans, just cook what is in the fridge.

What do you have? I have some tomato sauce and some beef and an onion. Okay, we can make something with that. Let's put the onion in and then add the beef. No, you put the beef in first. No, you put the onion in first. No, the beef has to go in first to give the taste to the onion. Back and forth. Back and forth. Okay, now what do we add. Water, of course. No, oil. Why would you add water? Clearly, we need more oil. Just a little more water is good. Let's taste it. Ugh! It needs something else. It needs.. hmm... sugar? Let's add some sugar. Great idea! No. I won't eat it if we add sugar. Just a little. I promise it'll make it better. Are you sure? We NEVER add sugar at home. Oh, I always add sugar. Okay. Let's try it.

Eventually, we ate the dinner. It was pretty tasty, even with the sugar. I realized how simple we think cooking is. Even if I know that there are certain dishes that belong to our country, I don't think of the way that I cook as particularly "American." I just cook the way I learned at home, the way my mom taught me, the way her mom (or my dad depending on who you ask) taught her. I just cook. There is no intentional thought process. I do things because that is the way you do them. This experience cooking makes me wonder what other areas of my life are unintentionally influenced by my upbringing. I have much to learn about healthy ways to interact and share in intercultural dialogue. Cooking, which I take for granted, is an arena where I can learn and improve my intercultural experiences.


Another cultural experience that I had was on Monday during lunch. I have been hearing about this Focolare Movement. I have met one person that is part of their movement, but I didn't really know much about them. However, a large group of them came to the Ecumenical Centre on Monday. They live near here in Switzerland. I had the chance to have lunch with them. The group at our table was a group of young men from: Brazil, Uruguay, Italy, China and Uganda. Only two of them spoke English. The Chinese man and the Ugandan. There were two options for conversation:
1. Those that spoke English can chat together and ignore those that cannot speak English
2. Those that can speak both English and Italian can translate so that all can be involved in the conversation.

Although option two is clearly the more inclusive and more loving option, in similar situation I've been in option one has always been chosen. Talking amongst those that already speak a language is much easier than having an actual conversation among people who do not speak the same language. Perhaps occasional interpretation so that everyone can "follow" what is going on, but those that cannot speak English cannot really participate. Yet, on Monday, during lunch, Thomas, the young Chinese man did not even have time to eat his sandwich because he was interpreting for all of us (He was going from Italian to English and back - just imagine!). We answered questions about why we are here; what we do here; what motivates; we heard answer to questions about what they do; what the focolare movement is; what their purpose is. I am very intrigued by the idea. They are basically a group of people who are striving to live the gospel together. I am not quite sure what that means - but I would like to learn more. Hopefully I will get a chance to learn more when the Interns go and visit their house. It's not very far from here.

I was amazed at the effort and intentionality of our conversation. Although we were having a simple lunch there was an effort made to make sure that all people included and allowed to share their ideas and opinions.

Reflections on Taize.

I promised a post about inter-cultural dialogue. I am going to work on that some and then post later. Right now I am going to post some reflections I wrote about Taize.

Taize is a place that I see as holy. When I went with the WCC interns to Taize it was my fourth trip to that place and their first. I arrived there thinking I knew what to expect; but you can never know what will happen when you encounter the holy.

I was expecting our Bible Study to be a dynamic source of inspiration and new friendships; I was expecting to be moved during the prayer time; I was expecting to relax. Instead I found the Bible Study we attended tedious and poorly planned. I did not form any deep relationships with people I did not already know. I worked at Casa to welcome people; I found my work stressing because it was a large chunk of time and all in my second language.

Yet, I did encounter the holy. I encountered the holy through a young, rude German. I encountered my own challenges and prejudices. I encountered my own limitations. I encountered God as living and real. I saw the Church as bigger than I want it to be or than I am comfortable with it being.

On our first day in Taize I decided to skip mid-day prayer to play cards with my friends. This is not like me, I always go to Church; I always do the “right” thing. I decided that this one time, I would be the rebel - I would play hookie. I felt slightly guilty about it. We sat in the middle of Taize and played cards. There were a few people preparing the lunch we would eat after prayer. The bells rang;

“Can you hear the bells?” asked the young man.

“Yes, of course.” We continued to play cards; we were the last ones left except for this young German who was preparing for lunch. I still had that small ball of guilt in my stomach.

“You know it’s time for prayer. You really should go to prayer.”

“Okay.”

“After all, you should have come to Taize to pray.”

We got up and began to walk in the direction of the Church. After being chastised for not being holy enough I would have gone to prayer. I need others to see that I am holy; perhaps even holier than they are. However, my friend’s reaction was completely different. He was quite upset with the young German. “How could he tell us why we came to Taize? What did he think he would accomplish by telling us to go to Church? Does he really think we’ll go to church now? Of course we’re not going to go to Church now!” In my effort to be liked and seen as part of the “group” I agreed. But in my heart I was thinking, actually I probably would have gone to Church. I probably would have said the same things that German said. I would have told people they have to go to Church. Church is an obligation that we have to fulfill. In my head, I know that this is not true; yet, I act as if it is.

Last year one of my cousins told me, “God doesn’t care if you go to Church or not.” I knew he was correct, because God is not concerned with keeping up appearances, like going to Church every Sunday; God is concerned with our heart and our every day actions. Yet in my heart, I wanted to argue with him. I wanted to tell him that of course God cares if we go to Church. God cares that I go to Church more often than all my friends. God cares that I am active in my Church. God cares that I have read the entire Bible. God loves me more than others because I have done and do all these things. That’s simply not true. That is a very tempting lie that I had begun to believe. Arriving in Geneva, I thought I had put all of this behind me. Yet, at Taize, God would not let me forget my desire to prove my worth. God will not let me think I am better than others. God loves me because of who God is, not because of who I am. God is reminding me of God’s holiness and my utter lack of holiness.

As I struggled with this reality and with my own inadequacy there was another moment where I realized that not only does God love me despite my desire to prove that I am worth it, God also loves that German man that I often referred to in words that were not so polite. God loves both of us equally. We are called to love each other; to be in communion with each other.

My second day in Taize I went to the Morning Prayer and as is my habit I took the protestant Communion. The Catholic Communion is served by brothers, but the Protestant Communion is always served by long term volunteers. I was lost in the song as I approached the men holding the plate and cup.

“Bread of Life”

“Amen”

“Blood of Christ”

“Amen”

At that moment I realized I had just taken the chalice from the German man that yesterday had told me to go to Church. I looked into his eyes. We were both there struggling to be the united Body of Christ. We were both there, together, loved by God. God loves him. God loves me. God calls me to love him as well.

I did not get what I expected at Taize. Instead I encountered the Holy in a new way. In my effort to prove myself I realized just how great God is and how far I have to go. In my effort to be exclusive I realized just how inclusive God is. Just as I began to think I can define God, God’s holiness changes my world and makes me realize just how little I know. Taize is a holy place for me.

Pictures

Here are some pictures. The first is from my trip up the mountain last weekend.

I had a really great time going to Chamonix with some friends. We bought a round trip bus ticket to return the same day and that automatically meant we had an "excursion" ticket. Basically for a few extra francs we got a tour guide. He was an English guy that lives here in Geneva and gives tours. Pretty great! So he gave us a guided tour all the way out to Chamonix. Then he dropped us off right at the Aiguille du Midi (that's the cable care you ride up to get to the top of the mountain). It's actually two cable cars and then an elevator to get to the very top. It's so beautiful. As one of my coworkers said today, if you didn't already believe in God, seeing the beauty would make you believe that there has to be a God. There is so much beauty in the chaos of it; in the rawness; in the coldness; in the awesomeness. As it was a bit cloudy and threatening to rain all day, we couldn't actually see Mont Blanc. We could only see most of it. The mountain above is not Mont Blanc, sadly. The whole day was wonderful, really. I am glad I took the day off.

I finished mailing off Federation News last week. If you haven't gotten any real mail from me you probably won't get a copy. If you have, you probably will get a copy relatively soon. I hope you enjoy reading it. Last week was very slow simply because I spent all my time doing that. Also, Christine, Michael and Marsha were all out of the office, so work was much more laid back. Christine and Marsha are back now. Michael will be back next week. I am praying for them.

Below is a picture from the soccer game I went to a few weeks ago (football for those of you outside the US). We had a lot of fun. La Servette, Geneva's football club is not very good - but they played hard. They were playing against Grenoble and they won 4-0. Quite a high scoring football match. ;) The stadium is designed to hold 30,000 people! Even with it being the last game of the season,and it being free - the stadium was maybe 1/4 full. We still had a very good time.


I have put all my pictures from the mountain and the soccer game and stuff on facebook. So feel free to check it out there. If you are not friends with me on facebook I can send you a link to the Picassa album.

I will hopefully update more tomorrow on my intercultural experiences. Let's just say hearing a Chinese man translate from Italian to English was a first for me today. I do actually have to work, so more on that tomorrow.

Being a U.S. Citizen

I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be an "American" abroad. Living in an international city like Geneva you often get the question "Where are you from?" My response is pretty standard, "The United States." Then though, the question is always, "What state?" This is a complicated question for me and for many Americans who do not have one state that they identify as home. If I were to say Louisiana, people then might not understand why I talk about going back to Texas. If I say Texas, then people wonder when I start talking about the best food in the world that comes out of Southern Louisiana. I hardly ever say California, although I do still have my California license. (During my eight months in Texas somehow I never got around to getting a driver's license there.... oops) Then there is the question of where I was born.. which adds even more confusion. Such a simple question is so hard to answer. I usually respond with the carefully worded phrase, "Before I moved here I was living in Texas." That doesn't say where I am from - it simply gives an answer that people find acceptable. It is also nice that I can respond with a state the they have probably heard of. I think that most people in Europe have heard of three states, California, Texas and New York (although knowing the difference between New York City and New York State may have escaped them) The fact that I can quickly respond with one of these states gives me an advantage. I don't generally have to explain where that is and the immediate topic many people bring up is the former president and former governor of the Lone Star State. Since I like talking about Politics this is good for me. I can then generally go on about how much I like our new President, as opposed to the old one.

I am also starting to realize just how much EVERYONE I meet seems to know about the U.S. I have had conversations with people from Kenya, Zimbabwe, Australia, Scotland, Latvia and many other countries about the state of politics in the U.S. Although I studied politics, even with an emphasis in international politics, I couldn't tell you much about any one of those countries political structure or who runs them. My Canadian friends can talk to me all day about the difference between the politics in Illinois and California and I don't even know the name of their Prime Minister. Until I was in my junior year of college I just assumed Canada had a President like the U.S. I don't have to know about anyone else's country because everyone knows about mine. There is a certain privilege there that I am taking advantage of. As a U.S. citizen, I need to go out of my way to learn about other people's culture. I need to go out of my way to talk to people about themselves. If I don't try hard enough I can spend my time in Europe just talking about my own country and about indirectly about myself. It's easy to live in the bubble where only the United States matters. I need to burst that bubble.

I also feel a certain pressure as a "representative" of my country. Even though I understand that the United States is far from perfect - it is still my country. I am shaped by it's history and by the culture and by the expectations that come from growing up in Louisiana. I am from the United States and that I cannot change, nor would I want to change. I have been reflecting on where I am from and what that means as a person living in a foreign country.

Side note: I do not like the term "American" because America encompasses two entire continents with many countries. When I say I am American I am exercising privilege and power that diminishes the validity of the citizens of the other countries in the Americas. However, I have not found another word to use to describe myself and that is universally understood.