Thoughts and Ideas

It has been a week since I posted last. That is unusual for me. I have been managing to post every few days. This week has been especially hectic. Michael is preparing for a trip to the US, so all of us are running around like crazy trying to make sure everything is ready for him on this trip. I have been feeling a little like I am chicken with my head cut off.

I have also been reflecting this week on my future. I am preparing a Bible Study for the Interns. We decided to do the story of Joseph from Genesis. This week we are focusing on Gen 41:14-41. I am really looking forward to the Bible Study this afternoon. I think it will be a nice distraction from my aforementioned work. I also realized, while planning this study, that I enjoy reading the Bible and thinking critically about it. I enjoy discussing with others what they get out of the Bible. I hope that this afternoon will go well. I know that I want to do something with my future that will allow me the space to share the Bible and reflections on God with friends.

Work is still a little crazy. I have gotten here early the past few day. Yesterday I stayed late; today I probably will. However, this upcoming weekend is a three day weekend so that should be really good! I already have so many plans for the weekend. I am hoping that I can find some time to rest - but it will be nice to hang out with my friends too. I am going to go see a "football" match this weekend. La Servette (Geneva's football club) is playing their last match of the season. In an attempt to fill the 30,000 person stadium they have decided to make this game free! I am very excited to see a professional soccer game, even if they are supposedly not a very good team.

Sadly, one of my friends is leaving Geneva for good on Tuesday. So, we are going to go out on Sunday night to send her off. Since Monday is a national holiday, I am sure we will have fun on Sunday night :) I will miss her a lot.

I am hoping and praying that his weekend will be a relaxing change. Next week should be a very different: both Christine and Michael will be out of town. I will be working very hard to actually mail out Fed News. There will be lots to do while they are gone - but perhaps I can relax a little more.

Now that it is almost 9 am - I think it is time to get started on my work. Maybe I will post some pictures next week of my soccer game this weekend. If you are the praying type - please pray for me. This work has been stressing me out and I need the guidance to work effectively and not let my emotions get in the way of my work. Thanks. I apologize for the long time between posts. Hopefully the next one will be sooner.

Lines

I read this article in the NY Times today. A US soldier was sentenced to life in prison for raping a fourteen year old girl and murdering her and her family. That is horrific. However, I wonder where we draw the line. The rape, certainly, would not have been allowed as an act of war - however killing those people was not necessarily a crime. If those people had had weapons. If they had been "enemy combatants" their death would have been a credit to the soldier, not the cause of him spending his life in jail. Where do we draw the line between acts of war and war crimes. This soldier, this time, chose to kill out of anger instead of following an order. Perhaps that anger made it a crime. Is an emotional response a crime?

Isn't all war a crime. War involves killing people. Most countries have said that killing people is wrong. There are exceptions, depending on your country - the death penalty, war, honor killings etc. How can we, as a society, legitimately say it's okay in this situation to kill a person but in this one you are liable to be punished under law - even threatened with your own death. What sense does that make? All people's lives are valuable. I believe in a God that loves ALL people, no matter what they do, what they have done, or who they are; I cannot condone the killing of anyone. We have created these somewhat arbitrary laws that say what is a crime and what is an act of war. In the US, we decry honor killings as horrible and inhumane and clearly against the law. Yet, we still practice the death penalty, which is often wrong and very racist and classist. How do we think we have the morality to judge other people's culture and tell them that what they are doing is wrong because it violates our sense of "ethics."

Yet, all this being said, I have never lived in a situation where my life or the lives of my family and friends were threatened. Perhaps, if I had lived in such a situation, I would see war differently. I would like to think that I would rise to the occasion. If I were living in a state of war, reacting in a violent manner might make sense. I would like to hope that I would not respond in such a way. I would like to hope that my faith in humanity and my belief in God's justice would allow me to live peacefully no matter the situation. I have never been tested in that way.

Ascension Day

Switzerland has many National holidays - actually I am not sure which holidays are National and which are Cantonal (think Counties for most states in the US or Parishes if you're from Louisiana). Tomorrow, Thursday, is Ascension Day. I get a holiday for the Ascension of Our Lord. I don't get the following Friday off. Therefore I have to come to work and then I get my weekend! Many people are going to be taking Friday off (or making the bridge as they would say in French - in fact in France both days are holidays... ah the French). My office will be very empty on Friday. Only two of the seven of us will be here. It should be fun. I will also spend the majority of my day stuffing envelopes. After having finished Fed News we now have to mail them out. Hopefully they will be delivered from the Printer in time. So much to coordinate.

Tomorrow, during my day off, instead of enjoying the beautiful Swiss countryside with a hike I am going to indulge in pure American culture. I am going to watch Star Trek! The movie is out here and I found a friend who also wanted to spend the day indoors in the air conditioning watching a sci-fi movie. Should be fun. I'll give my opinion of it when I get back.

Monday

Monday. This past weekend was good and bad. I had a really great time on Friday night. I had dinner with two good friends. Then a friend of mine performed in a bar, so we went and watched him. It was such a good night. Good friends, good conversation, good energy. I really felt like I was at "home." Then Saturday I woke up feeling lazy. Lazy and perhaps a little grumpy and a little sad for myself. I declined the invitation to go to the wine tasting. I then spent most of the day in bed sleeping or pondering the future. I spent some time praying and some time reading the Bible. I spent some time wishing I weren't so tired. It was probably good for me to spend time alone. I tend to make myself so busy that I don't have to reflect or think or pause. Taize reminded me of the importance of taking those pauses; I still don't often take them. I still felt like because I wasn't "doing" something I was failing in some way; like busy-ness in and of itself makes you successful. (that is not true - in case there was any doubt). Saturday night I watched the Eurovision Finale. I had never seen this amazing display of talent before. For those Americans that have never heard of it, I would recommend googling it. For a good laugh watch Germany, Ukraine, and Greece. The winner was Norway. It was a good - made me forget about my existential troubles of the day (again with the busy-ness). Sunday was good. I went to Emmanuel Church. The sermon seemed very apt. As I had been feeling lonely on Saturday, the priest reminded me that we are never truly alone because Jesus is with us. I know, it sounds trite - but it was very helpful. He said that Jesus is with us in our despair and loneliness. It was helpful. I just need to focus on that. I hope I can remember that even as I feel overwhelmed.

Now it is Monday. I am back at work. I am trying to learn to control my busy-ness even as I feel slightly overwhelmed by the amount of things I am working on. However, I am working on so many different varied projects that at least I am never bored. ;) I also get to decide which projects I work on and which projects take the majority of my time. Although I feel like I am busy, and I am busy, I am also feeling useful. I suppose this is better than feeling useless. So I should be grateful for the little things.

Being Sick

I am still trying to get over my cold, that being said, I am still working. We had our Donor Round Table meeting yesterday. It went rather well. I am glad it is over. It was stressful getting everything ready for it. However, we now have copies of our 2008 Annual Report, the Red Book, and our April 2009 Federation News. (We have not yet put our Red Book up on the website, but just you wait!) I am glad to have it done. It looks good. We did a good job. I also worked on our Power Point Presentation. That was good to do too. It went as well as could be expected, I think.

I am now moving on to my next task. It seems like there is always more to do, never a moment of rest. I am working on mailing out the FedNews and then working on fundraising proposals too. Lots of things to do. Also another intern and I have decided to have an Intern Bible Study. We meet weekly already for "Ecumenical Learning" Sessions. I am excited about the Bible Study.

I am also going on a wine tasting tour of Geneva this weekend. There is an "open door" weekend with all the vineyards in the Canton (think county) of Geneva. I think that will be fun. Perhaps I'll take some photos. I can't promise - I'm pretty bad at taking photos.

I am looking forward to this weekend, hopefully I will be able to rest some. Perhaps get over this unending cold. It was not helped by the fact that I had to stand in the rain this morning waiting for my bus. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.

Final Preparations

We have this big meeting tomorrow with Donors. I am slightly nervous about it, although I am assured it is a normal process. I have never met with donors like this before, so I am nervous. I have spent my time preparing, surprise, surprise, our communications with the Donors. (I am the Communications Intern, after all). I worked on our most recent Federation News. I also worked on our 2008 Annual Report. I will be printing the final copies of that tomorrow morning! How exciting to have that in hand. I cannot wait. I also worked on our Power Point presentation. It looks pretty good - we are just finishing that up tonight. Everything is coming together.

Today we met with some Princeton Seminary Students. (Actually, we met them at Taize and then through that connection they got a tour of the Ecumenical Centre, the WCC and the LWF) It was nice to see them again. I think we are going out for drinks after work - which will also be nice. It is a little strange to be around other US citizens. I am just not used to having people that share my nationality around me. I am used to bridging that cultural gap - I am also used to representing the US. I guess I just like being unique ;) It was nice to be able to share some about WSCF with the Princeton students. I am hoping that they can take what they learned here, at Taize and with their meeting with the LWF and with the WCC back to Princeton. Perhaps something can can come of it.

I am also getting over my cold. I am not completely well, but I am much better than I was yesterday. I am grateful for my health that I have. I am also grateful for real food. After spending even four days at Taize I have realized just how much I like good food.

Left my voice in Taize

I am back at work - back in the full swing of things. Except I left my voice and my health in Taize. I have a cold.

We are just about done with both the Federation News (which is up on our website here) I am going to the printer today to make the hard copies. I am very excited to get this publication done. We are finishing up the Red Book for our big donor meeting on Thursday. It will be nice to give them up to date information. I have seen the pdf copies and it looks really good! It will be nice to have it in hand.

I hate being sick. I really just want to be in bed with a cup of tea and a good book, but instead I am here at work.

Reflections on Taize : This was my fourth visit to the the community. I have enjoyed every visit, but I wish I could have stayed longer this time. Three days is just not long enough. I bonded with my fellow interns and I sang some songs. I also spent some time reflecting on my own faith journey :where I am, where I have come from and where I am going. I am at a crossroads right now. I am looking out into the Future and I need to decide what that will look like. I realized I still have legalism lurking in my soul. I see Church as what I "should" do; I struggle to accept and live the Freedom that is offered in Jesus Christ. I suppose that is the choice I am facing - live in the "rules" of the Church that give me a sense of security or take the step towards Freedom that is not secure at all. I am learning how to do that day by day.

Preparing for Taize

I am leaving for Taize in just over an hour. I am excited beyond the point of being able to talk about it. Such a wonderful place.

The Interns are doing this thing where we send each other anonymous post cards of encouragement. It's actually quite nice. I got one today. Although I think I might have an idea of who might have sent me my postcard. So - Thank you! It's nice to know that you're loved. I won't be posting until I get back from Taize, which will be on Sunday. So at the earliest I will be posting next Monday. Just to forwarn you!

Back to Work, Planning for the next trip

I just got back from Camping but I am already thinking about my next trip away. I am leaving to go to Taize tomorrow. I am going to go there with a few of the WCC interns. Taize is one of my favorite places in the entire world. I am so excited about going there; I am also excited about seeing my friends experience Taize for the first time. When you see someone experience something for the first time it helps you to see something with new eyes. Like watching a movie you've already seen (maybe a dozen times) with someone who's never seen it - it's almost like watching it again for the first time. We are going to be there for four days. It will be such a nice break.

Camping was amazing. Sadly, I don't have many pictures to share. I will only post one. I took this while we stopped for a picnic on the way down to Le Verdon. It is so beautiful. I wish I had pictures of the lake where we camped. It was just an amazing sight.

During my weekend I also got some interesting questions about religion. Since everyone's first question is "What do you do in Geneva?" And my response is "I work for a Christian NGO." There is no hiding the fact that I'm Christian; it's out there; I have to own up to it. In some situations I just don't mention the fact that I'm Christian because I don't want people to think of me in the stereotypical American Christian. People have so many ideas about Americans and one of them is that we are ALL Christian. I am an American. I am a Christian. I am probably not the person they expect to meet. So one night I was asked "What's purpose of Religion?" Such a daunting question. What is the purpose of Religion? I don't think the purpose is to offer some eternal salvation that will come once we've died. I don't think the purpose is to offer a set of morals so that we can all live in harmony. I don't think the purpose is to make us "good people." What do I think think the purpose is? I think the purpose is for us, communally, to respond to that which we don't understand. There. Is that confusing enough? Now try explaining that in your second language. I don't know if most people would say that is the purpose of Religion. I think it's either that or it has no purpose. I think prayer has no purpose. I don't mean the prayer is useless. I think prayer is utterly powerful - but I don't think it has "purpose." Religion is not like other things in life - we don't measure religion by its productivity. I was reading an article today in the New York Times by Stanley Fish about religion and science. He was saying the Religion is the only way that people have been able to answer the questions that have no answer. Religion is the way that we talk about those things that we cannot utter. Religion is not a way of explaining how the world works - that is science. Religion is a way of explaining the "why" questions. I have been thinking about this question "What's the purpose of Religion?" I have been wishing I could have articulated a better answer - but then as I was reminded in Bending History by Joe Matthews - as soon as we start defending "God" we are no longer defending God - we are defending our ideas of God. God doesn't need defending. So perhaps me not having an answer is the best answer of all. Perhaps.