March 17th.

March 17th. That's my day. Fourteen days after I turn 25 I will leave the United States once again and begin a journey that is still a mystery.

I received an email today saying that the Swiss Government, in all their efficacy, had decided to grant me a visa. Today I went to the post office and sent my visa application, my passport, some photos and some money to Atlanta. In a week or so I should get an envelope back with that same passport. The only difference will be that I will have one less blank page. I will instead have a sticker that gives me the right to travel freely within Europe and to live freely within Switzerland.

Today was a fitting day for me to get this visa. Last night a good friend of mine told me what I needed to hear. Honestly, I'm glad she was so open with me and blunt. Yet is always hard to hear your faults; especially when you already know them but are not yet ready to face them. She told me that I had to stop being lazy. I know (and have known for some time now) that I am extremely lazy. When I tell some people this they look at me as if I speaking Greek. They don't believe me or they don't understand what I mean when I say lazy. Yet my friend, even the first time I told her I was lazy, looked at me and said "Yeah, you're right." When I say I am "lazy." I don't mean that I sit around and do nothing all the time. (although I do watch a lot of TV and movies). I don't mean that I lack motivation or that I don't take advantage of opportunities that come to me. When something comes to me I take advantage of it. I don't go that extra mile, though. Jesus said that when a soldier asks you to carry his gear for one mile you were supposed to carry it for two. (This is really non-violent resistance, but that's for another day and another post.) I would carry the gear for maybe half a mile. Then I'd get tired and put it down and move onto something new. That is my laziness. For the first half mile I'd be the best carrier I could ever be. I'd be carrying it as best as I could. But then my laziness would kick in. I would want to just stop. All of this relates to my life right now because I am at that half mile point. I am the point where I NEED to stop being lazy. I am the point where I can't put down the gear and move onto something new. Instead I need to invest renewed energy into my fundraising. I fail to fully invest because then I'm not really risking anything. I'm not risking being hurt emotionally. I'm not risking failure. I'm also not risking success. I have the illusion of success. Other people see it as success. I know it's not real success. I've only gone half a mile when Jesus is calling me to go for two miles. In order to have real success I need to have real risk. I am beginning to overcome that fear. Part of the reason is that I see what the people at the World Student Christian Federation are doing and I want to be a part of it. I see the differences they are making. The people there in Geneva have decided to trust me to work with them. I want to be able to give myself 100% to this job that I'm doing. I don't want to begin and then fade and eventually be too lazy to really make a difference. I'm not going to be lazy anymore; I'm going to go for two miles.