New Trip. New blog

I have a new blog.  Please go there to check out all my crazy adventures.

www.maryannstravelblog.wordpress.com

Starting a new journey...

I’m leaving for Ecuador in 4 days.  I’ll be moving to Peru in January to work with ICA Peru. This isn’t the beginning, no the beginning of this story goes back to Labor Day at the Cennacle, in Chicago, Il.   It’s been a whirlwind since.  I got back to Texas on September 4, 2012.  I’m leaving Texas, possibly for good, on November 7, 2012.  Just over two months.  My life is being caught up in  the frenetic action of preparing for the move.  Three weeks ago I bought a one way ticket to Ecuador. Two weeks ago I interviewed with my volunteer placement in Ecuador and with my job site in Peru.  Last week I gave away 80% of my clothing.  Yesterday, I sold my car.  I have been going through all the motions of preparing for this move, but I have had little time to emotionally process the changes that will be taking place.  

I spent Labor day weekend in Chicago at the Episcopal Peace Fellowship retreat for young adults.  This weekend was focused on finding your voice - and choosing the way you could be most effective and most faithful to the life you are called to lead.  During this weekend I realized that I needed to make some serious changes in my life.

Right now, I am in Texas where I have a decent job and I have friends and family that really care about me.  I have been living here for three years.  I moved here because this was the place that I was called to be.   I’ve been “looking” for more fulfilling work for more ways to be living out my calling, even as I’m attempting to define and figure out what that calling is.   After my retreat I decided I needed to seriously start the hard work of getting to know myself and where I want to go and be.   

In the middle of this I also got a small amount of money that allowed me to travel for a bit.  I decided to go and learn Spanish and volunteer.  Through my research and connections I was offered a full time position with the ICA Peru.  I hope that this work will be another way that I can continue to be faithful to myself and to the calling to create a better world.   

I’m prepared with just enough belongings to fit in the backpack my uncle gave me.  I have my passport and a plane ticket. I am ready for my journey to begin - but I don’t know what this journey will hold which is why I go.  I am nervous and sad and excited.  I am nervous because of the uncertainty that comes from the unknown; I am sad because I am leaving the friends, family and comforts that I have grown so accustomed to; I am excited about the possibilities that come from living out fully the one wild and precious life I have been given.  

I don't want to be scared of the cops, but....

I have never been arrested.  I have all sorts of white, educated, middle-class privilege going on. 

In my life my tendency is to say "Yes" and then figure out if whatever has been asked is possible or reasonable.  This becomes a problematic reaction when you are protesting and there are cops around. The cops will always ask you to stop doing whatever protest you are doing - even when they have no idea what law you are breaking.  If you say "yes" they have won.  But when you say "no" you are risking being arrested. Even when the cops have not mentioned arrest it is a possibility. 

We are protesting in Occupy Austin to remind people that we are a free country.  The complaisance and control that we live under are not "just the way it is".  We have the right, and I daresay, the responsibility to stand up to those that are telling us that we must just put up with destruction of entire planet, increasing poverty, especially among communities of color, attack's on women's rights and the millions that die every day simply because they do not have enough to eat.  Injustice is not "just the way it is".  Injustice is created by humans and justice can be fought for and won by these same humans.  

Yesterday some of formed a somewhat amiable relationship with an Austin Police Department (APD) Officer.  He gave us a "head's up" about a new policy that APD is enforcing.  He referred to it as "Zero Tolerance."  News reports have called it the Public Order Initiative. (You can see one here and other one here).  Last weekend, under this new initiative, APD arrested more than three times the number of homeless people they normally arrest every weekend.  300 of my brothers and sisters spent a night in jail last weekend because they broke a city ordinance which would normally be ticketable, but because of this policy it resulted in them being hauled off to jail. 

It is not clear why APD has started this policy.  Currently in Austin most of the homeless services are downtown - which is also a large scene of night life in Austin.  There are two big events coming up Austin City Limits music festival and the brand new Formula One Race track that will be holding the US Grand Prix in November.  

How can I respond to APD officers that might arrest me if I'm standing in the street instead of on the sidewalk? On a side note, this was the actual example used by the APD officer when he explained how the new policy works. 

I also want to know why the APD won't let us open up our own Tent City since they seem hell bent on getting the homeless out of downtown.  I guess we'll see how it goes tonight.  I'm legitimately scared that I will be arrested for something as minor as jaywalking.  I'm scared of cops now, because I see that sometimes they are enforcing laws designed to oppress us rather than laws to protect us. 

Discussing VS. Telling

My Church is doing this awesome series on being a Christian in an Election year.  We've talked about how we, as Christians, approach "politics."   What does it mean for us to be faithful and to be political.  Are the two mutually exclusive?  Where is God calling us in this world?

We have framed the discussion as Christians being Citizens of heaven but also how we are called to pray for cities and places that we end up as we will be blessed if they are blessed (Philippians 3:20 and Jeremiah 29:7).  I know that I do not agree with everyone in my Church about politics.  I felt respected enough to be able to raise questions.  The discussion had been opened with a call for openness and dialogue. 

I want to contrast this open and respectful dialogue that never attempted to endorse candidate or political party with an article I read on Fox News about pastors telling their congregation how to vote.  (Interestingly, the article has been taken down but this video was still up)  This video and the article promote what's being billed as "Freedom Pulpit Sunday."  On October 7 over 1,000 preachers around the country will be openly endorsing candidates for President during their sermons.  This is important  because the IRS requires that all tax exempt 501(c)3 organizations remain non-partisan.  Churches, as tax exempt organizations are required to meet this basic standard.  Endorsing any party or candidate is in violation of this the tax exempt status.  Those that are promoting Freedom Pulpit Sunday believe that this requirement to remain non-partisan is a violation of the separation of Church and State. You can preach whatever you want from the pulpit.  If you endorse a candidate be prepared to lose your tax exempt status.  That's a good thing. Organizations that are openly campaigning for one candidate should not be tax exempt.

Partisan politics is NOT the Gospel.  Neither Romney or Obama shares God's vision for this world. No Church that is holding to the Gospel of Jesus Christ should endorse either of these candidates. The Gospel is so much bigger than Republican or Democrat or even USA. We need to be preaching that from the pulpit, not preaching the Gospel of Conformity to the mainstream media that tells me I have to vote for one of these two candidates that gets somewhere near my values on some items. No, the message of Jesus is liberation from this mindset. Liberation from the world's requirements that we endorse a candidate that they have chosen for us.

This whole Freedom Pulpit Sunday is being used to get around this 60 year old ban on tax free organizations working directly for one party or candidate.  I hope that the pastors that preach on this Sunday will realize that preaching the Gospel of Jesus Crucified is so much bigger than any one election or any one party or any one candidate.  I am blessed that my Church chose the harder, but more inspired, more Jesus-like path.  We are having the conversations about how what it means to be in community together and try to order our lives together in a way that respects all people and creation.  That is what our political discussion looks like - and we are not telling anyone who to vote for (or even to vote!).

I'll take that as a compliment

Reading some of the coverage about #S17 (or Occupy Wall Street's 1 year birthday party) I was amazed at the tone that as often struck. 

This article mentioned about 10 times how OWS was a dying movement. Really? You have to write a whole article about how much the Occupy movement is dying.  Is the public supposed to just accept that death myth without question.  Occupy must be dead because on September 17, 2012 only about 160 people were arrested all across NYC.  They couldn't keep the park all night so clearly this is just a dying movement.  Nothing to see here move right along.  I don't buy it.  We had more people at Occupy Austin last night than we have seen in months.  It felt jubilant.  I'm excited to see what year 2 looks like for this movement.

The article I just read, which inspired me to write this, struck a more supportive note.   One comment in particular made me think: “I hate mob rule. We're a republic, not a democracy,” said one perturbed plutocrat who declined to give his name. “Everybody has a right to free speech, but they just want free stuff. Free health care and education.”   It seems like Occupy has gotten it's message across.  Although this was framed as an attack, I'd like to say I take that as a compliment.  This person who works on Wall Street understands that the Occupy movement is fighting to ensure things like health care and education for all.  We do want free stuff - the stuff that people have a right to.  As long as our government, and our society, are putting profit over providing health care and education the Occupy movement will be here. Even those opposed to us know that we are fighting for basic rights.

Really, in a movement that is almost dead, what more can you ask for?  

Education is a right

Here's the striking teachers in Chicago:
 
Background, the CTU walked off the job on Monday after negotiations fell through with the Chicago Public School Board. 

Many people in the media are saying that the Teachers are already overpaid and not working hard enough so therefore they are harming students by striking when they really need to work harder to make sure the students learn. (Here is an example in the NYT). 

The fact is that in Chicago, the teachers are, by law, limited to only negotiating their salary.  (Here is a really great article that lays out some of these basic facts.) Therefore the other factors like: number of students in the classroom, the amount of support staff (i.e. Social Workers, Librarians, and School Nurses), the amount of standardized testing, how they are evaluated, etc are non-negotiables. The CTU is on strike over salary because legally they have to be.  However the push towards privatization of PUBLIC schools is what this strike is really about.  Chicago, and many other cities and states, are moving towards a school system where parental "choice" is put above providing a good education for ALL.  Privatization is  damaging to students are educators alike.   Public schools are the place where students who are kicked out of private schools or charter schools go.  They are the place where kids go that have no money or way to buy an education.  This strike is forcing us to ask the question: "Is a good education a right or is it something that you have to earn?" My answer is clear - Education is a right.

When we see Education as a fundamental right for all children we begin to understand that funding the educators and the schools that they work in is a moral imperative.  In CPS there are 160 schools that do not have a library.  Only one quarter of the schools have full time arts and music teachers.  Mayor Emmanuel has appointed a School Board that is more interested the bottom line than in students.  Our Public Sector cannot, and should not, be asked to behave like private, for profit, institutions.  There is no profit in educating students with disabilities. There is no profit in teaching students to think critically and challenge the basic assumptions of our society.  There is no profit in learning how to play the violin or learning how to paint.  There is a societal benefit to making sure that everyone has basic abilities and are able to think for themselves.  When we have good public education we are creating the society in which all things are possible and freedom is truly available.  Yet in Chicago, and other places around the country we are violating rights in the name of profit.

The CTU strike is symbolic of where our country is going.  Are we are country that has totally embraced the lie that private corporations, with a goal of increased profit for the already wealthy, have the answer to our social ills?  Or are we a country that believes that some things, like education, health care, and basic dignity, are more important than monetary value? 

The choice is clear and I have decided, that I, must side with the teachers.  Siding with the teachers is siding with the students.  I am siding with those that do not have the money or the ability to buy their education.  I believe that everyone has the right to an education.

God as All Powerful

Today the book of Job was brought up during discussion after Church. The story goes something like this: There had never been a more righteous man than Job.  He was perfect in every way and was blessed with many children, many wives, much cattle and lots of money and houses.  Then one day the Devil and God got into a fight.  The Devil said to God: "Job is only righteous because he has all these blessings - he would curse you if he did not have them."  God turns to the Devil and says "You're Wrong!"  He then proves this by killing all of Job's children, wives, and cattle.  He then gives Job a series of horrible skin afflictions.  All throughout this Job's friends council him to confess what he has done wrong.  Clearly God must be punishing Job for doing something wrong.  Job refuses.  He continues to praise God. In the end Job gets back more than he had before.

Job's friend's clearly believe that Job is at fault because all of his good things were taken away. They are saying: God blesses you with material things for faithfulness and curses you with loss of material things.  This is an old belief but we retool it so that it seems new - seems like it might be a correct belief.  We now say that we can pray our way into prosperity.  If you work hard enough, go to the right Church, donate enough of your money then God will bless you with more money and more things.  This God is a pay to play God.  This God is actually not very powerful.  The fact is that if we have to "earn" our blessings by being pious or by believing the right thing or by saying the right prayer than we are making believe that we are in control of our blessings. 

This Gospel that preaches there are things that you have to do/say/be in order tI had a very interesting lecture after Church today on the relationship between Christians / Christianity / the Church and Politics / US Politics.  I have lots of thoughts on that, but I think I'm going to wait to see how the series plays out before blogging about it.o achieve material blessings is a gospel that makes sense in this world and is easy to believe.  However, it is not the Gospel that is outlined in the Bible or the one that Jesus talked about.  The book of Job clearly illustrates that what happens to us here on earth is not related to our righteousness. We cannot see material wealth or lack thereof as either praising or punishing our faith.  Believing that God rewards our faithfulness with material recompense is heresy.    It may not seem like it but as soon as we begin to believe that our faithfulness will be rewarded with material goods we are taking God's power and claiming it as our own.  God is all powerful.  It is much easier for us to believe that we the have power to affect what happens to us.  God is utterly reponsible.

I will not stop here because we are also utterly responsible.  As individuals we are in complete control of ourselves.  God is responsible for what happens to us, but we are responsible for living our lives in the most faithful way possible no matter the circumstances.  There is an inherent tension in being a Christian, in believing in God at all.  The tension begins with recognizing that God is completely responsible for our lives. Did I ask to be born as Maryann Philbrook? No.  But here I am.  At the same time I, as an individual, have complete freedom to choose what I do - I am the only one that is responsible for living my life.  This responsibility is overwhelming but with God's grace it is possible be faithful. 

Job's friends didn't get the point.  Job did.  Job knew that God was faithful to him in all situations.  Job was faithful to God in all situations.  Job saw that his responsibility was to be faithful in the situation that he found himself.  

Many people preach the Gospel of salvation through works or salvation through some other means.  I would like to offer that salvation comes through God - through recognizing God's supreme power and by recognizing our supreme power.  We can be God's love here on Earth.  That is a powerful thing to be.

Processing a Labor Day Weekend

This weekend I decided to join the Episcopal Peace Fellowship's conference for young adult Christian Activists.  I didn't know much going into the retreat - but I thought: "Hey this could be a good chance to reconnect with friends from GC77 and go to Chicago." Suffice it to say, I ended up in Chicago with very little idea what was going to happen to me, but I thought I should be here to find out.

This weekend was about finding your voice - the old voice that is within you that is coming forth from you and calling you towards action. Since 2006 I've been considering starting the process to begin thinking about maybe possibly becoming a person that is actively discerning a call ordained ministry.  I need to stop considering and start acting.  My voice is one that proclaims that the people who call themselves Christians need to be in and among and with the poor.  We need to be with those that are suffering.  Our love of God and Christ is something that compels us to love those that the world turns away.  My indecision has caused me to think more about myself than about Christ or anyone else in this world.  It's time for to take the first step.  I need to stop considering starting and start acting.

I assessed my life this weekend - is the life that I'm living expressing my voice? Sadly, the answer is no.  I began to look at the activities that do.  Where am I engaged in the world? What I am doing to use my voice to bless the world? My work with my Church and with Occupy are both integral to my life.  I am an Activist.  I am a Christian.  I cannot choose between the two.  If I am serious about stepping fully into either roll I have to commit 100%.  I cannot   I am already stretched too thin.  I do not have the time to consciously choose my path.  I am so busy running from protest to Church that I do not begin to pray about the protest or tell those within the Church walls about the way that Christ can be found while marching and chanting.  I forget to love all people.  I forget that God promises to provide for us.  My voice is currently being stifled by the busy-ness. 

In my walk with Christ I say that I have faith that God will provide for me both spiritually and physically whatever it is that I need. Yet my life does not necessarily reflect that. I also know that God's vision of what I need may be very different from my assessment of my needs.  I did not know that I needed this retreat this weekend.  (In fact I probably should not have come as I was taking too much time off work this year). 

One of the final thoughts shared in this retreat was that of a quote by Martin Luther King Jr.  in his final speech.  King was talking about the oft-quoted story of the Good Samaritan.  He talks about the Levite and the Priest could have had many reasons for not stopping.  Each of these reasons was in response to the question: "What will happen to me if I stop?".  King turns this questions around suggests that we ask instead: "What will happen to this man if I do NOT stop?"  I am at that point in my journey.  I can no longer be concerned about what will happen to me if I decide to dedicate my life fully to addressing economic inequality in this country.  I can no longer be concerned about what will happen to me if I decide to pursue full time work for social change.  What will happen if I sit by and do nothing.  Our world is in too great of a danger right now.  Our country is at a moment in history that calls all people into action. If I fail to act now I will be the Levite and the Priest who chose to walk on the other side of the road so that they were not defiled.  I cannot leave my brothers and sisters that are lying, possibly dead, beaten and bleeding on the side of the road.  I must act. 

My actions are going to look irresponsible to some but I know that I am stepping out on faith.  As I take this first step my voice may crack and I may not have the words to speak articulately, but as I continue my voice will develop until I am singing a song of praise and thanksgiving.  

Privatization and the Olympics

I have never really been a big Olympics person.  I mean, I guess they're a big deal, but I've never gone out of my way to watch them on TV. 

But, despite that, I think I understand something of the spirit of the Olympics.  They are about building community.  They are about the human need for competition - our desire to prove our skills.  In a way this is about proving that one community is better than another but it is also a chance to celebrate the human spirit. 

This understanding of the Olympic games is why I was so disheartened when I heard about the strict rules around use of the Olympic logo.  I heard a piece on NPR where they described how a local flower shop had been forced to remove their Olympic ring shaped flower design.  The only companies that are legally allowed to even mention the Olympics or use their logo are the 'official' sponsors like McDonald's, Visa or Coca Cola.  These giant corporations pay huge sums of money to ensure that they are associated with these games that celebrate the very nature of humanity.  Yet, in stripping away the rights of all people to use the logo and be a part of the games we are in fact creating a society where companies are people. 

Perhaps some day it will not be the United States vs. Canada vs. Russia.  No instead it will be Coca Cola vs. McDonald's vs. Visa.  We are living in a society where even the Olympic games, which celebrate the essence of our humanity, are bought and paid for by corporations.    I hope, and pray, that we will be able to reclaim some sort of human claim on the Olympic games.

The death of the Church

This General Convention will go down in history as the Convention that killed the Church. The Church needs to die in order to live into becoming the Body of Christ in this world. I have no idea what the resurrected Church will look like, but I want to be a part of it.

The 77^th General Assembly of the Episcopal Church was historic. It officially adopted a ceremony for blessing Same Sex Unions. In a world that often sees those within the Church as the enemy of those that are outside the norm, especially in their sexual expression, the Episcopal Church has said: “We stand with the outsider and we bless the outsider.” This moment when Resolution A049 passed was a predicted moment in history. The Episcopal Church has been moving towards this for some time, notably since the ordination of the first openly gay Bishop, Gene Robinson, in 2003. We have consistently been redefining what the “all” in our slogan “God welcomes 'all'” means. This week we finally said that this expression of the Body of Christ, the Episcopal Church, means ALL, in relation to most sexual minorities. There are still many ways that the Church is redefining all; we still have work to do. Blessing same sex unions is a life giving moment for the Church.

As momentous as this decision was, this is not the reason the Church is heading towards the cross. I will tell my grandchildren that I was lucky enough to be in the committee hearing when the deadly resolution was read for the first time. I believe that I will live to see the death and the resurrection of the Church. This resolution entitled “C095 Substitute”  created a task force to, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, “reimagine itself [the Episcopal Church] grounded in our rich heritage and open to our creative future.” This resolution passed unanimously out of committee, unanimously in the House of Deputies and unanimously in the House of Bishops. Change was a buzzword at this convention, but I do not know if people realize how painful change will be.

Our Church has become accustomed to preaching the Gospel of Conformity rather than the Gospel of Christ. If this task force does its job well, they will cause havoc. We still have members of this Church that grumble about women's ordination. Yesterday the dioceses that disagreed with the blessing of Same Sex Unions walked out of General Convention.  The way forward is unclear. There are as many different ideas about what we need as there are Episcopalians. Christ needs to be our guiding light, but I am afraid that many people have substituted a false idol without even realizing it. This false idol could be the United States, it could be the Episcopal Church, it could be Conformity, it could be Comfort, it could be the Democratic Party, it could be Money, it could be Change, it could be Sexuality, it could be Justice. We have a way of thinking that we understand what God is calling us into. If we do not remove these false idols the Church will continue down the path it is on. This path is not a path of life, it is path of death.

However, following the path the Christ is leading us into will feel like death, like we are destroying the Church we have always known, the Church that brought us to Jesus, the Church that created salvation. If we truly reimagine this Church we will be calling out these false idols. We will be truly awakening the Church to it's calling of being the body of Christ in this world.

This General Convention is challenging the Episcopal Church to become the resurrected Church. We are called into new life through Jesus Christ. That new life is individual, but it is also corporate. Corporately the Episcopal Church is at a breaking point. In order to become resurrected we must first die. This General Convention will kill the Episcopal Church but I am impatient and excited to see what the resurrected Episcopal Church will look like.

The Triangle of life: Faith, Actions and Love

Theology is not meant to stay in the realm of the theological. It is meant to impact your life and make us live like Christ. How do we do this? I am constantly torn between my desire to see all people being the people that Christ sees them as and the suffering that is going on in the here and now. The only hope I can find in this is that we are ultimately responsible and at the same time God is ultimately responsible. We are called to be God's hands and feet and body in the world. Yet we are a body of believers, not individual believers. If it were up to me (or any one person) to make sure the world was a good place, this world would be in bad shape indeed. Luckily, it is not up to me, it is up to the Holy Spirit, acting through people everywhere.

It is this tension that calls me into more service at all times. This tension of knowing that I am not responsible for everyone's well being, but I am responsible for what I can do. I felt this tension this afternoon as I walked away from the Convention Center. I was asked by many people for money for basic necessities. Inside this massive building we are discussing things like: Which comes first our welcome into God's family through baptism or our welcome into Christ's life through communion? Or how do we faithfully respond to the diversity in our Church? Or how do we reimagine the Church for the future? These are important questions. Yet for many outside of the Convention Center the questions are much more practical: How will I pay for my daughter's new shoes if I go see the doctor today? How will we have food to eat tonight? If I leave this abusive relationship will I ever see my children again? Where will I sleep tonight? These are the questions of the people in the streets. These questions, just like the questions about theology do not have an easy answer. I believe that we need to be the people that live in this tension.

We all bear the image of Christ, who came into the world to show us that true life is possible. However, when we begin to segment our lives into the “religious” side and the “real” side we begin to lose the vision that of Christ's light for the entire world. My faith matters. My action matters. It is through faith that all things are possible, (Mark 9:23) but this faith creates action. Faith without works is dead (James 2:13). Our actions and our faith are two sides of a triangle. The third is love. Love is what gives our faith and our actions life. No matter what we do, if we do not do it in love, it is useless. (1 Corinthians 13: 1-3). It is love for God the Creator, as experienced in the resurrected Christ and in the life giving Holy Spirit that drives us into being a people of the new covenant.

We love all well by living in this tension of a God who has already created a new vision for society but is giving us the opportunity to be a full partner in creating this new society. This society does not depend on me or you individually, it depends on us as the Body of Christ to follow the Holy Spirit who guides us into the just actions so that the answers to our theological questions generate responses to the practical questions asked by people both within the Church walls and outside of them.

The Triangle of life: Faith, Actions and Love

Theology is not meant to stay in the realm of the theological. It is meant to impact your life and make us live like Christ. How do we do this? I am constantly torn between my desire to see all people being the people that Christ sees them as and the suffering that is going on in the here and now. The only hope I can find in this is that we are ultimately responsible and at the same time God is ultimately responsible. We are called to be God's hands and feet and body in the world. Yet we are a body of believers, not individual believers. If it were up to me (or any one person) to make sure the world was a good place, this world would be in bad shape indeed. Luckily, it is not up to me, it is up to the Holy Spirit, acting through people everywhere.

It is this tension that calls me into more service at all times. This tension of knowing that I am not responsible for everyone's well being, but I am responsible for what I can do. I felt this tension this afternoon as I walked away from the Convention Center. I was asked by many people for money for basic necessities. Inside this massive building we are discussing things like: Which comes first our welcome into God's family through baptism or our welcome into Christ's life through communion? Or how do we faithfully respond to the diversity in our Church? Or how do we reimagine the Church for the future? These are important questions. Yet for many outside of the Convention Center the questions are much more practical: How will I pay for my daughter's new shoes if I go see the doctor today? How will we have food to eat tonight? If I leave this abusive relationship will I ever see my children again? Where will I sleep tonight? These are the questions of the people in the streets. These questions, just like the questions about theology do not have an easy answer. I believe that we need to be the people that live in this tension.

We all bear the image of Christ, who came into the world to show us that true life is possible. However, when we begin to segment our lives into the “religious” side and the “real” side we begin to lose the vision that of Christ's light for the entire world. My faith matters. My action matters. It is through faith that all things are possible, (Mark 9:23) but this faith creates action. Faith without works is dead (James 2:13). Our actions and our faith are two sides of a triangle. The third is love. Love is what gives our faith and our actions life. No matter what we do, if we do not do it in love, it is useless. (1 Corinthians 13: 1-3). It is love for God the Creator, as experienced in the resurrected Christ and in the life giving Holy Spirit that drives us into being a people of the new covenant.

We love all well by living in this tension of a God who has already created a new vision for society but is giving us the opportunity to be a full partner in creating this new society. This society does not depend on me or you individually, it depends on us as the Body of Christ to follow the Holy Spirit who guides us into the just actions so that the answers to our theological questions generate responses to the practical questions asked by people both within the Church walls and outside of them.

Transforming the Self, the Church and the World

Transformation is the church's business.  We are not called to fill every pew on Sunday mornings.  As soon as we begin to live to be the Church we are no longer living.  We are called to be alive with Jesus and bring Jesus' light to the nations.  One of the institutions that has done this thus far has been the Church.  However, God will find a way to bring God's light to the world if we fail or if we cannot.
I had a very enlightening discussion with a Bishop this morning.  We disagree on many issues, but it was amazing to see how much we agree on.  We are both convinced that the Church must change in order to continue being the Light of Christ.  We both understand that this change will be radical and painful for all, but that without this change our Church is not able to live into the life that the Holy Spirit is putting before us. 
He spoke of the assumption that people would come back to the Church when they have children.  Right now, there are not many young adults in the Church.  There are also trends showing the people in the US are waiting longer to have their first child.  If we expect people to leave the Church during the formative years of early 20's, college and post-college work we are losing the opportunity to inform the decisions that have life long ramifications for many.  Jesus did not only call those that were married and had children.  He did not only call those that were living the normative life.  Jesus called his disciples into a transformed life.  He called them into a new life.  If our plan for growing the Church is to wait for those who grew up in the Church but then left in their 20's to come back once they have children we have missed the point.  We are holding onto tradition at the expense of the Church. 
During our conversation this morning this Bishop explained that, as Episcopalians, we are very good at creating loving communities of believers.  We are very good at asking people of faith to grow and challenge themselves.  However, we are not very good at bringing people into the faith.  We have become so afraid of being exclusive that we have forgotten to tell people that there is more to our inclusivity than a social club.  The discussion of open table theology brought up the idea of open baptism theology.  We are so quick to share God's love through Christ that we often forget to share that Jesus also called us to die.  This death is necessary in order to have new life.  We cannot have one without the other.  God's love is magnificent and available to all, but then we must show that love in the world. We are calling people into something new and different.  We need to define what that is so that we can challenge people to follow this crazy carpenter that has been changing the world for thousands of years. 
The change that this Church needs is massive.  We are all aware of the necessity for change.  If we focus on living out our calling to follow Jesus we will be able to transform the lives of those around us and the world.  It will take time and it will be challenging.  I am renewed and enheartened to see that all of us, no matter where we stand on certain issues, are looking to be the nomadic people of God that live in tents, going wherever the Holy Spirit is leading us.  As we follow the Holy Spirit we will be transformed, the Church will be transformed and the world will be transformed into something we cannot imagine, but something that brings a small piece of the Community that God is building into reality.

Taking Jesus to the People

This morning I attended a hearing on D069 which I heard about last night through Twitter.  The testimony that was being given was on Twitter almost as instantly as it was said in the committee.  The Chair of the Committee responded to a Tweet from another member of the Committee during their discussion.  This subject of D069 was Social Media in the Churches. 
This afternoon I followed the proceedings in both houses via Livestreaming and Twitter.  I knew exactly which resolutions were being discussed and what the testimony was about.  I was sitting in my hotel room. 
It is still official policy that no one can Tweet from the House of Bishops.  Social Media is a tool that the Church needs to embrace.  In this morning's testimony a member of the official Youth Presence argued that since Jesus reached out to the People where they were, we too are called to reach out to people where they are.  They are on the Social Media. However, we cannot begin to be believe that any interaction on Twitter or Facebook or Four Square will replace any face to face interaction.  We can use this media to encourage and meet people where they are at so that we can invite them into deeper relationship with Jesus.
Just as the Church is expanding to embrace Social Media we are also expanding our definition of “all”.  At some points in Church history “all” meant all men or all those who were circumcised or those who happened to have fairer skin or the list goes on.  I am proud to be in a Church that is continuing the work to expand that “all” to as many members of the Queer community as want to be part of it. Two resolutions passed today that will grant Transgender people full equality within the Church.  We also approved A049, which will create a blessing for Same Sex Unions.
In his sermon tonight Bishop Gene Robinson reminded us that God is calling us to be people that live in tents.  He went on to say that in this Hebrew's passage Paul is talking about the fact that we are transient and we only dream of the foundation that God is creating for us.  Our calling is to be people that are constantly moving to the new inclusion and full love that God is calling us to. 
In including members of the Queer community in our Church and in moving onto the internet the Church is moving out of her comfort Zone.  We are becoming a Church that is taking Jesus to the people rather than expecting he people to come to us.

Seeing the Possibility

Convention, like real life, is a series of ups and downs.  Sometimes it feels like there is no way forward and that peace and change is impossible in this world.  Sometimes there is a glimmer of hope that perhaps the prophets who demanded a better world were crazy, but they were crazy enough to make a the impossible possible. 
Yesterday I posted about the dire necessity for change. This post came out of a low moment in a valley.  It came out of a moment of seeing the need for change but not seeing where this change would come from.  I still believe that change is needed, now more than ever, but today I have a more hopeful attitude that this change might actually happen in my lifetime.  There are many events in the past 24 hours that have brought me to this more hopeful position. Two events have particularly stood out to me.
The first was last night. I attended the Structure Committee hearing. This meeting was held at the same time as the Same Sex Blessing hearing, the PB & F hearing and a final committee hearing on the Israel/Palestine issue. For some reason, (read Holy Spirit) I chose to go to the boring structure committee.  In this meeting the committee introduced a substitute resolution which they had written.  This resolution (C001) gives me hope that change in the Episcopal Church is possible. This resolution, if passed would open the door to having the serious conversations that the Church needs to have about her future.  There are two items in this resolution that I am particularly excited about.  First, the task force that is being created is independent and the committee specifically asked that those appointed are not already involved in Church governance.  Hopefully, that means that the people appointed will have a fresh perspective.  Secondly, I glad that the necessity of including younger people in the decision making processes.  (In whose concept, except the Church, does young adult go all the way up to age 40!?)  This resolution offers a possibility of real change and it gives me hope.
The second was this afternoon.  I spoke with an alternate deputy that I had met a few days ago at a committee meeting.  We were pretty much on the same page about a lot of things.   This deputy is not considered young, but he is still well under the median age of Episcopalians (57).  I began to lament that I felt that although young adults were being represented at general convention in larger numbers but that our presence was mere tokenism.  Since there are so few deputies under 30 our presence does not have a “real” impact.  He corrected me and said that this was not true.  In fact he had seen that the testimony given by the young adults in the committee meetings, and the youth presence in the House of Deputies, had a large impact on the outcome of resolutions.  I left that conversation feeling lifted up, that although I was not a Deputy I was still an integral part of the Convention process. Then later this evening over ice cream one of my colleagues in the Young Adult Initiative told me that committee members shared that since she was the only one that testified on a resolution for prison ministry they are now recommending that it be adopted.  If no one had testified they would have dropped it and this important work within the Church might not have gone forward.  Although we do not have voting power, we do have power. 
It seems that in Convention life has a different speed.  The highs and lows of life that sometimes takes weeks, months or even years to change are changing in 24 hours at Convention.  Perhaps I shall be back in a valley tomorrow, but today I saw the possibility that can be seen from the top of the mountain.  I hope that I can remember these feelings and ideas the next time  I am low and seeing only the obstacles to the change that needs to happen in this Church. 

The Church needs new Shoes

July 7^th 2012

I had to buy new shoes while I was here in Indianapolis. I was told before convention started that we had to dress “Business Casual” and that flip flops were definitely outside of that dress code. I looked in my closet and pulled out the shoes that I never wear and put them in my suitcase. I thought that these shoes would be what I needed during convention to participate.

The first day I noticed that I was getting a blister on my small toe as I walked around from hotel to hotel and within the convention center. Luckily, I had brought another pair of shoes. I tried those on. These gave me a blister on my heel. After lunch on the second day I went and bought two new pairs of shoes. Both of them “flip flops.” My feet are much more comfortable now and I am able to walk about the halls and continue the important work that I am here to do.

I tell this story because I think that it is an allegory for what the Church is doing now. We have been wearing shoes that are tearing our feet apart. These shoes are preventing us from being the Body of Christ. They look pretty on the outside but are literally tearing us apart on the inside. Whenever we put right theology over and above love we are denying the Gospel. We are so concerned with being right in our theology that we do not see how that relates to our lives. These shoes of our theology are hurting our body. We are so concerned with keeping up appearances we forget that we do not exist for these 'shoes'. They exist for us.

This morning in during Eucharist the gospel stated, “Do whatever they (Pharisees and Scribes) teach you and follow it; but do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they teach. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them.” (Matthew 23:1-12)  Our Church is very good at imitating the Pharisees. This morning Bishop Curry preached on the necessity of being crazy. We would rather have an appearance of justice than real justice. Last night one of my fellow Episcopal Peace Fellowship talked about the feeling like this was all useless because of our lack of ability to act on the resolutions we pass. I feel the same sometimes, but we have to be crazy to believe, in the face of the history and in the face of the multitudes of injustice in this world that God is, in fact, acting to create God's community here on Earth. 

The change that this Church needs is radical. But we are already suffering the pains from not making these changes. We are at a crossroads in the Church. (Perhaps the Church must constantly choose the path but that is for a different post). We have the option of choosing to hobble along with these shoes that are literally killing us, or we can discard these shoes and get new shoes that will carry us into the future that we need. We can delay this choice. However, God is present here and the building of God's Community requires something different than a broken hobble down the wrong path. Whenever we finally get to the point where we can no longer walk we will begin to look for those shoes that will support us in rebuilding our broken feet. It is our choice when we get new shoes.

-Maryann Philbrook

Loving all well: the People vs. the Church

I have been thinking about the rationale we use within the Church to justify our actions. Occasionally the right action is clear in a given situation. Often path to right action is not set out before us. I saw this demonstrated in the testimony I heard about two different controversial resolutions today.

The first resolution I listened to testimony on this morning was C029 which would have changed the canon to no longer require baptism for those who receive communion. It was clear in the testimony that we all want the Church to be open and inclusive. Every person, on either side of the debate, was looking for a way to grow our Church. We want to reach out to those that are unchurched. We want to reach out to people who desperately need to hear about God's love.

The second resolution was actually a series of resolutions (B010, C064 etc) on how the Church will go forward in relation to the continuing occupation of Palestine by Israel. One of the people testifying opened his testimony by saying that his opinion on the issue was as complicated as the issue itself. The issue is complicated, but mainly because we are failing to boldly proclaim Jesus' love for all people.

Today's struggle for me has been to remain present in this convention as I have become more convinced than ever that Church is not something that happens within four walls (and especially not something that happens within four non-unionized hotels). Church is that what happens when we go outside these walls. God is found everywhere, but God chose to become human and then die as a political prisoner. Jesus' harshest words were for the members of the religious ruling class that took their religion and tradition more seriously than compassion and love.

One of my favorite stories in the Gospel is the story of Jesus' healing of the bleeding woman (Mark 5:21-43). The framing of the story of this woman is just as important as her story. The story opens with the leader of the synagogue telling Jesus that his daughter is dying. While on the way to his house this woman, who would have been banished from religious society, touches Jesus' robe because she believes “If I can just touch his clothes, I shall be saved.” (v28 New Jerusalem Translation). The woman is, in fact, cured of her sickness. Since Jesus waited to cure this woman the daughter of synagogue leader dies. (SPOILER ALERT– Jesus then goes and wakes her because she was only sleeping). This story speaks to me tonight. We are called to emulate Jesus. He was not about the hierarchy of the Church. He did not believe that we had to follow the rules in order to be included. If anything he believed the opposite. Love and compassion heal. I love this story because it demonstrates how Jesus goes out of his way to heal and show love for those that are normally excluded by the Church.
Today both of these resolutions are attempting to address how we as a Church react to and include those that are different from us. Do we allow those that are unbaptized to share in Jesus' body? I believe that we should. We are only giving what God has given us. We do not have the right to keep that from anyone. In Palestine, in the land where Jesus walked, we see people living in occupied territories. We see the suffering. We need to be able to offer them compassion because they are in a powerless situation. As a Church we need to expand beyond our walls and our comfort zones. We need to take God's love to the streets to the people that have been excluded.
General Convention should be a place where we recommit the Church to it's mission. I am being conflicted because I am beginning to be jaded. I am beginning to think that this convention is about Church politics and having the right colored shirt rather than about teaching each other how to love God's people better. This conflict in my heart is not new, it is a one that I have been believing with and struggling with for some time. How do we stay relevant in this Church while remaining true to our tradition and learning to love the world around us?

God's Heart Beat

July 5^th 2012

Yesterday in Presiding Bishop Katharine Jeffert's Schori's opening statement she described General Convention as “this Church’s regular opportunity to strengthen that incarnate heart for its work in the coming years. We’re here for a tune-up – to breathe deep, clear our vision, focus the muscles, and synchronize our heartbeat with God’s.”

The heartbeat of God is beating for justice. I am here because I see justice as the central call of the Gospel. The idea that justice as part of God's heartbeat is a new-fangled, non-bibilical view is plainly and simply wrong. God has been calling people into just relationship with each other and creation since the creation of the people. Over and over again we get distracted by other objectives by the importance of our own lives. The presiding spoke to this today in her opening sermon during worship: “We have opportunities here in abundance to forswear those evils, to lay down our various weapons of division, and to work together for the commonwealth of God’s created world. Is our faith lively enough to do works toward that kind of abundant life? In everything we do here, remember those whom we serve, that we may do unto them as we would have done to us – for this is the law and the prophets, and indeed, this is the good news of the reign of God.”

Is our faith strong enough and flexible enough for us to determine what course of action needs to be taken both during this sacred time during Convention and in the following triennium? I testified today on two resolutions that are at the very heart of our Church's commitment to do justice. The first resolution I spoke to will commit the Church to nine more years of anti-racism training around the country. (A125) The second resolution I spoke to will allow the Church to advocate for just economic and development policies (A012). There appeared to be general support for passage for both of these resolutions within the committee. However, this was only the first step to becoming a funded resolution.

In 2006 the Episcopal Church resolved that all future General Conventions would be held in hotels that were Unionized, or barring that, paid a living wage to their employees. This year we are in Indianapolis where no hotels are unionized and the hotels that we are staying at do not pay their employees a living wage. In fact, many of them are undergoing a class action law suit claiming that they pay their employees less than minimum wage.

When we are gathered here at General Convention we pass pretty resolutions and talk about the need for justice for all. Yet we do not act on these principles when we are given the clear choice. We chose to come to a city with no union hotels. We could have chosen a different location. The resolution that was passed at the 75^th General Convention has become meaningless. What will happen to the resolutions that get through the 77^th General Convention. We are failing to take collective responsibility for our Church. We are instead passing resolutions with no way to enforce them if there is no will within the Church politics.

Part of this failure is because we are failing, in some ways, to understand the true nature of the Gospel and of God. In her sermon this morning the Presiding Bishop spoke about a new Saint, Walter Rauschenbusch. He believed that: “a historical tendency to substitute personal salvation for the kingdom of God meant that people “seek to save their own souls and are selfishly indifferent to the evangelization of the world.” The good news to the world, in his eyes, was about the reign of God on this earth.

The Episcopal Church has the opportunity and the will to bring about God's reign, but the only question is will we, as a collective whole, overcome our fears of failure and irrelevance in order to align our hearts with the heart beat of God.

-Maryann Philbrook

A day of contrasts

July 4^th 2012

I've been spending a lot of my time recently with Occupy Austin. I've become enmeshed in that culture of direct democracy. General Convention is the largest representative democracy in the world. My recent experience with Occupy has changed the way I think about democracy and representation.

The first resolution I heard this morning was A073, which is intended to create a mulitmedia resource for evangelism, specifically focusing on issues of multicultural and multilingual inclusion. This resolution was given $30,000 over a three year period. The resolution itself seems rather innocuous. Evangelism is a good thing. We should be approaching it in culturally sensitive way. Good idea. No brainer, right? The issue is for what purpose and to whom will this $30,000 go? The committee that created this resolution (all resolutions that start with A were created by committees) did not have a clear answer. My first response was that clearly the committee that created this resolution would be carrying out the proposal. The idea that you can propose something that you, yourself, are not carrying out has been driven out of my realm of possibility during my time Occupying. You are utterly responsible for what you propose. This works in a small community. I am starting to believe that this would work in a larger community but it would require more humility and the ability to work together. If all proposals had to be carried out by the person proposing them we would have many fewer proposals.

I saw two more proposals that had budgetary items of $1,000,000 and $100,000 that were also planning on some other body carrying them out. The Episcopal Church has money. (Not as much as it used to, but still....). We are using this money instead of using people to make things happen. Don't get me wrong, money helps, but money is not the solution to what ails the Church. We need more people to see that we are relevant to their lives. We need to have the relationships that form over time that influence people, one day at a time, towards choosing the path of Life. These items are intangible and do not have a price tag. I've learned through Occupying that people who have no money can make a lot happen.

The Presiding Bishop released a budget that shifted the way the Episcopal Church organizes its money. This budget prioritizes actions over money. This framework was adopted by the Program, Budget and Finance Committee today. I think this is an important shift. In the opening remarks by Presiding Bishop Schori, she reminded us that our Church is in the midst of a transition. We are in the midst of a new breath of the Holy Spirit coming through. This breath might feel like a dying gasp to some of us and to others it might feel like the first breath after almost drowning.

Overall today was complicated day. I spent a lot of time thinking about the actions taking place back in Austin, TX where Occupiers were holding a day of teach ins and music and speeches at the State Capitol. I was distracted by these thoughts.  I also spent a lot of time thinking about how we are always waiting for someone else to do the work. Yet we can wait no longer. We must start to do the work we want to see done.  I am glad that we have the leadership in the Church right now that recognizes how important it is that our mission influence our financial decisions rather that vice verse.

Prisons in this country need some serious change.

July 3^rd 2012.

I wrote this while I was on a plane from Dallas to Indianapolis to participate in the 77^th General Convention of the Episcopal Church.

On the front page of the New York Times today there is an article entitled, “Poor Land in Jail as Companies add Huge Fees for Probation.” The article goes on to outline the stores of states, like Alabama, which give their probation control over to for profit companies. This article gives on woman's story. She received a speeding ticket for $179. Now, three years later she is in debt for over $3,000 and has spent more than 40 days in jail. These companies make money on the backs of the poor. This country has handed over it's criminal justice system, like probation and prisons, over to private companies. These corporations seek only to increase their bottom line.

We incarcerate more people than any other country on Earth. Jesus began his ministry by quoting the prophet Isaiah. “The spirit of the Lord is on me, for he has anointed me to bring good new to the afflicted. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives, sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim a year of favour from the Lord.” (Luke 4:18-19 The New Jerusalem Bible) The current system in this country is a punitive, profit driven system. Jesus tells us that he is beginning a different system. Yet, 2,000 years later we aer still just starting to see glimpses of that community that God is building through Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Church.

We need to stand up and fight the injustices before us. We need to look around us at all the “criminals” and see that they too, just like you and me, are created in the image of God. When we start to do that it is only natural to clamor loudly for justice for all. God's most precious gift, our brothers and sisters, are being mistreated in the name of a false god: Profit. We are called to carry out Jesus' mission. We too will set the captives free.

#GC77

I'm attending the General Convention of the Episcopal Church as a member of the Young Adult Initiative. 

I'll be posting a series of blogs about my trip. 

Here is the introduction that I posted about myself a few days ago. 

My name is Maryann Philbrook. I currently live in Austin, TX where I attend the Episcopal Mission of St. Julian's of Norwich. I am very busy here in Austin. I work full time as a Customer Service representative. Answering phone calls, technical support, that sort of thing. It pays the bills. I also work part time (very part time) as the Children's Minister at my Church. I was running the Children's Chapel program during the past school year. I also work part time (also very part time) as an attendant for a friend of mine who has a disability. When I'm not doing one of these three paid jobs, I organize with Occupy Austin, which is where I see my faith most vibrantly come alive. One of my passions is travel. I have lived and travelled in over 15 countries on 4 different continents.

I have been an Episcopalian all my life and I'm drawn to the practical side of my faith. I believe that when Jesus said he came to preach Good News to the poor, he meant it. Literally. In trying to explore this understanding of my faith and my calling, I have worked with Ecumenical groups, like the World Council of Churches and the World Student Christian Federation. I have also worked with Episcopal groups like the Episcopal Service Corps. This year, I am excited to be joining the Episcopal Peace Fellowship as part of their Young Adult Initiative at General Convention. I understand that the issues facing our country, and the world, are bigger than our individual lives. Each individual is affected by the systemic and structural organization of our government and our global society. I am coming to General Convention because I want to be a part of the work the EPF is doing in moving the Church towards its prophetic role.

I have found numerous resolutions that I am looking forward to learning more about and, hopefully, influencing the outcome of during General Convention. The one I am most passionate about is Resolution A040, “Establish the Church as the Moral Voice on Health Care.”

When I finished my year as Intern with the Episcopal Service Corps I was ineligible to be insured through my parents insurance so I bought a Major Medical Insurance policy. While living with my parents, I was stung by a bug in the middle of the night. We went to local ER where they gave me a shot of cortizone and sent me home. This treatment cost over $1,000. My deductible was $5,000, so the insurance I was buying did not cover a dime. My parents are still paying off this trip to the ER. We need healthcare reform that offers everyone equal access to health care, not just a mandate to have insurance.

In 1991 General Convention recognized that we need change: Resolved, the House of Deputies concurring, That the 70th General Convention decries the inequitable health care delivery system of the United States of America and calls upon the President, the Congress, Governors and other leaders to devise a system of universal access for the people of our country. (A009)

Currently there is a resolution on the table to (A040) to establish the Episcopal Church as the moral voice on health care. This resolution would resolve:

Every member of The Episcopal Church make a moral commitment to health care for all of citizens and legal residents by actively supporting the full implementation and funding of the health care reform law in the United States.

This is not a “Moral” stance. This law still leaves 26 million people uninsured. This law does not ensure all Americans have equal access to health care. Requiring that the government fund a law it has already passed is asking the government to do what it has promised to do. A moral stance does more than ask the bare minimum of our government.

The recent ruling by the Supreme Court seriously undermines the enforceability of the ACA. Without the ability ensure that states expand medicaid coverage many people will not be able to afford the new, mandated, insurance. The personal mandate was ruled to be constitutional, but without the expansion of medicaid millions of people who cannot afford insurance will still be without insurance and will owe the government money because of this 'penalty'. Endorsing this piece of legislation, as a moral stance, is immoral because this legislation, although it improves the health care situation in our country, is a far cry from the reforms that are needed to actually enure that everyone in the US receives the health care they need when they need it.

In 2009 the General Convention resolved that: The Episcopal Church urge passage of federal legislation establishing a “single payer” universal health care program which would provide health care coverage for all of the people of the United States (2009 D 048). Stating that this Affordable Care Act is a moral bill is going back on our commitment to supporting a truly universal health care system.

The Episcopal Church does need to become the moral voice on health care. However, this will take prophetic witness to what is possible, not a simple endorsement of a compromised bill that does little address the real causes of problems in our health care system.

There are many more resolutions that we will be considering during Convention. I hope to be able to address resolution A012, “Advocate for a Just Global Economy for International Trade.” Having travelled abroad and seen the disparity among nations I know, first hand, that we need to make ensure that our economic policies are just. I also hope to speak to resolution A017, “Monitor the use and Ethics of Drone Warfare.” As we become a society with instant communication we also become a society with the ability to cause instant destruction. The Church needs to make a statement on the morality of the use of the drone warfare in which the US is currently engaged.

I am hoping and praying that General Convention will be a time of growth and learning and fruitful work for all who attend. I am looking forward to being a part of that with the Episcopal Peace Fellowship.

Government has a role in Society

There is this pledge that almost all Republicans have taken in the House and Senate.  It was initiated by Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform.  This pledge basically says that they will refuse all tax increases or reductions in tax credits.  (Which would essentially be an increase in taxes). 

There is an inherent problem with this pledge. it based on the assumption that government spending is always bad.  The pledge makes it so that taxes can never be increased.  Therefore taxes can only be decreased.  The problem is that you cannot decrease taxes forever.  Eventually you would have no tax revenue at all.  It is fantasy to believe we could live in a world with no government spending. 

Government does have a role to play and these roles cost money.  The government is supposed to protect the people it governs.  Government is supposed to provide a protection for the people.  If our food suppliers are providing food that is unsafe the government needs to regulate them.  If our manufacturers are building factories that are unsafe for the workers, our government needs to regulate them.  If our employers are not paying enough so that people can buy food to eat and are therefore starving or cannot afford safe housing our government needs to regulate employers.  If insurance companies are making obscene profits while people are dying because they do not have access to affordable health care our government needs to provide health care.  If our builders build housing that collapses on people, our government needs to regulate building codes.  These are very real protections that the government is supposed to provide to the people it governs. 

Although only the Republicans have signed Norquist's tax pledge, the Democrats have not been fighting to make sure that the revenue is coming in so that our government can protect the people. 

Volunteering vs. Relationships

I was driving down the street a few weeks ago and I saw a guy on the street corner asking for money.  This is nothing new.  It seems like people are at almost all major freeway intersections asking for money these days here in Austin. 

What was strange was the fact that I knew this guy.  I pointed out to my friend in the car, oh that's "James" (Changing the name for privacy).  This was a person that I had met through my Occupy involvement and that I consider a friend (we're friends on Facebook so that means we're real friends, right).   Since my involvement in Occupy I have become friends with those that are homeless.  I have been able to really build relationships with people that have nowhere to go at night.  I don't feel guilty that I have a  bed to sleep in and they don't.  (Okay, sometimes I do).  I am getting to know these people that are in situations very different to mine.  I am beginning to actually understand some of life choices and struggles that lead people to be homeless.  I am beginning to understand some of the structural causes that lead to people be homeless and keep them homeless.  Last night a different friend of mine was explaining that every time he seemed to get back on his feet - i.e. find a job, get housing and begin to be stable, he'd lose his job, then lose his housing and then be back in the same situation. 

I have been volunteering with two different organizations here in Austin for over 2 years.  I spent every Tuesday morning for a good two years serving breakfast and helping some homeless women here get help with ID's at one of these places.  I don't think I ever became friends with any of the women I served.  I think I did good work by serving them, but I never became friends with any of them.  As a 20 something, college educated woman I had more opportunities than many of these women who are twice my age.  I had more access to more resources than them.  I was in a position of privilege as a volunteer.  I recognized this, but I think I did not fully process it until I began to meet homeless people as peers.

This cannot be done through volunteering.  As soon as we are the ones that helping.  Or the ones that hold the keys to resources we are not peers. In Occupy we are all peers.  (There is a hierarchy in Occupy, but it is not based on whether or not you are housed). 

I guess my thought process and my relationship to homeless people generally, and the ones I've begun to be friends with specifically, has changed more during my time with Occupy than it did in my time volunteering.  But Occupy is a rare opportunity.  I cannot think of another place the brings those that are housed and those that are not together as equals.  The only time we are ever given the chance to interact with the homeless, unless we ourselves are homeless, is in a volunteer setting.  (Don't get me wrong - I think volunteering is very important that the services being provided are vital). 

I guess I think it's not enough.  We need to build relationships.  We need to find a way to be equals. 

Health Care Rants

I need to rant about health care now.

Here is my personal story:

Back in September of last year I finally decided that you know, I should have health care. My parents were telling me, it's not safe to not have health care. You need to have this coverage. I buy it. I go online and buy personal health care coverage for myself. I have to pay $120 every month. Considering that I am a healthy, young female, this seems a bit outrageous. Everyone tells me - it's the only way to be safe, in case of a catastrophe. In my coverage it says that "preventative visits" are 100% covered. Not even a deductible! I decided to go and test that out. I made an appointment to see an OB/GYN. (I haven't had an annual exam in years because I didn't have insurance).

I go in, a bit apprehensive. But, I have a wonderful experience with my doctor and his assistant. I think - oh this is great. I'm paying all this money to my insurance company for this. It is paying off!

Then, I receive a Explanation of Benefits (EOB) from them. It says they will cover a procedure that my doctor billed them for. Good, this all seems right. The next day I receive three more EOB's. These state that they will not cover four different items billed to me by "Medical Diagno" and they will not cover two other items that my doctor's office billed them for. If I am charged the full price, which I could be, I would owe almost $700 for this visit, which was supposed to be completely covered by my insurance.

A few days later I received a bill from my doctor's office stating that I owe them $146. I have still not received a bill from this mysterious "medical diagno"

I must first state how terrible these documents are. They do not explain what my insurance is not covering. They are just items from "Medical Diagno" for $130. The column the title is printed in cuts off the full word. (The insurance repriced this mystery item at $19 - which basically means that if the insurance pays for it they would pay $19 but if I have to pay for it, I could pay $130). They also sent me a letter explaining that I have a right to appeal these. On the bottom of the page they list a number for the Texas Health and Consumer Protection Bureau. It states that they can help me with the appeal process. This letter looks like it could have been typed on a type writer from the 1950's.

Yesterday, I finally had time to follow up on all of this. I started with the Texas Health and Consumer Protection Bureau. They asked if I had already filed an appeal. I said no. They said I needed to talk to my insurance company first.

I called the insurance company. After being on hold for nearly 10 minutes, I spoke with a real, live person. I asked her about the denial of coverage. She said that they do not cover the visits. I said that my policy should have covered the visit, as it was preventative. (Now here's the real kicker, if I had gone to the doctor because I was actually sick - that is clearly NOT covered under my insurance). She said that my doctor's office had coded this visit as a visit related to an illness.

I then called my doctor's office. They're closed on Fridays. I have to call back on Monday to follow up on this.

Even if my doctor's office did make a mistake, this does not address the other four mysterious charges from "medical diagno". I asked the woman that I spoke with what they were for and she said that I would have to ask my doctor about that. She could not tell me.

I guess I'm still in the middle of figuring this out. I did cancel this insurance coverage shortly after my visit (before I got any EOB's) because I was picked up on employer's insurance coverage.

I've now given you the basics of my situation. I think insurance companies are some of the worst ideas ever sold to the American People.

Basically we are paying them lots of money so that they can pay for our health care if we ever get sick. However the plan that I was paying into specifically excluded paying for any doctor's visit because I was sick. Why am I buying something that I cannot use? I am buying it for the emergency scenario. God forbid, I get in a car accident or fall and break my leg or something else. They would cover a portion of that after I've met my $5,000 deductible. If I just have a cold or Bronchitis (which I actually did have recently but thankfully my new insurance actually covers me going to the doctor for a minor illness and all I had to pay was $25 plus a portion of my prescription). I was paying them every month, but if I ever had a minor illness I would have to pay for that on my own.

Medical providers are inflating the costs of their services. As shown in my EOB that I received from my insurance company the "cost" of the item was $130. My insurance company had negotiated a lower rate of $19. I have no idea of what the actual cost of this procedure is (I still don't even know what "it" is). Let's look at this from a purely financial standpoint. All companies have to make a profit. Let's imagine that they are charging the insurance companies at cost. Let's say they are not losing any money by charging my insurance company $19, but they are also not making a profit. Where does the profit for this company come from? It comes from all the people who either are denied coverage by their insurance companies and so have to pay the full value or they do not have coverage at all and so have the pay the full value. The "costs" are highly inflated, 684% by my basic estimation. If the real cost was charged to all customers would insurance even be necessary? The uninsured and those that the insurance refuses to cover are the ones that pay this price.

I'm very concerned that when the Supreme Court Rules on the Affordable Care Act this summer that they will side with the Government. I know that I'm progressive, but I don't believe that these corporations need the force of law to make us buy a product that should be a basic right. Access to affordable health care (and possibly free?) is something that the Government should provide. The government needs to provide the things that people cannot provide for themselves. Among these is affordable health care. We have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If people die because of a lack of health care (which happens every day in this country) than the Government is not holding up it's part of the bargain to ensure that we have these rights.

It is time for the American people to stand up and demand a single payer system for health care that removes the profit motive.

Thoughts?

On July 4, 1776 men gathered in Philadelphia and wrote these words: “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

For the past 40 years our government has been invariably pursuing the interests of corporate greed over the interests of the people. This one Object has been their aim at the expense of the people that consent to be governed. We can and will create a full list of grievances, but that list would be much too long and incomplete. Instead, we can explain what it is that we would like to achieve and then begin that process.

Since we are part of a movement that has no official leader and no official hierarchy each of us brings our own values to the movement. For me, I am passionate about alleviating poverty and homelessness. For others they are passionate about the way our government and society privileges people with lighter skin. For others they see the destruction of our environment as the paramount problem that we are facing today. Yet, the secret that no one in power wants to admit is that all of these issues are the same issue. They are rooted in our desire to control. People create a system of power over others so that they have a feeling of control. This system of power over people, plants or animals is a system of inequality that must be brought down. The Occupy movement is the last chance that this country, and this globe, has to fight against the powers that will destroy our world.

It is our right and our duty to throw off the Governments, around the world, that are invariably pursuing corporate profit over the health of our people and our planet. We are lucky enough to be alive in a time when we, as a global people, have become aware of the ways in which our governments are colluding with one another to frighten us into thinking that there is a scarcity and that we must fight each other over the crumbs that they give us. We must stand up and say that as The People we are united.

We are going to create the new world that we want to live in. We will no longer listen to your lies that tell us that we have to choose our issues to fight. We will no longer believe the lie that profit is more important that the life of the forests. We will no longer believe the lies that the only way to create prosperity for some is to build it on the backs of the poor. We will no longer believe your lies that only people who have money should have the best healthcare. We will no longer believe your lies that people in poverty are there because they do not work hard enough. We will no longer listen to the television that instills fear of those who practice a different religion or wear different clothes or speak a different language. We will embrace this diversity. This diversity is what makes us strong. We know that those of us standing up in Chicago and in New York and in Madrid and in Tahrir Square and in Tunisia and in Syria and here in Austin, TX are all brothers and sisters. We are fighting a united fight and we are winning.

The Poor will always be with you

There is this passage in Mark that has always bothered me. I've always been critical of this passage because I never understood it. I read it again this weekend in preparation for Children's Chapel on Sunday and I think I finally started to get it.

Here's a quick summary: Jesus and his disciples are eating dinner at Simon the Leper's home. A woman (in Luke she's identified as Mary Magdalene) comes and pours very expensive perfume on Jesus. The disciples rebuke her and say that the perfume should have been sold and given to the poor. Then Jesus rebukes the disciples and says that she did a good thing and that the disciples will "always have the poor with you."

In the past I've seen this passage as an excuse to neglect the poor; I've seen it as a way to say "the poor will always be with us" so we don't have to do anything for them. Instead lets spend tens of thousands of dollars on our new church. Jesus told us to right here that we don't have to spend money on the poor and instead we should spend money on him. Our church building is clearly what Jesus would have wanted.

When I read this on Sunday I noticed for the first time where the story was set. This story is set in the home of Simon the Leper. All we know about this man is that he has a home and that he has an incurable skin disease. (Any good Bible will have the footnote that the word for leprosy was used to refer to multiple skin diseases, not just leprosy). We also know that people with skin diseases were considered unclean and therefore were not allowed to participate in the religious life (or any communal) activities. The fact that Jesus and his disciples were in this man's house and sharing a meal with him is a radical act. That act, by itself, would be revolutionary. It would be as if the Pope decided to go and have dinner with an abortion doctor. This story just leaves the tidbit about where it is located as a small detail in the background. They move on to the real story, the woman pouring her perfume over Jesus.

This is a purely symbolic act. Jesus is preparing for his own death. At the end of this passage Jesus sends his disciples out to find a place for his final meal. He is clearly thinking about, and aware of, the fact the he will be leaving this earthly life in a few days time. He has brought the battle to Rome, so to speak. This woman, probably one of his disciples - although the male centric lens of the gospel does not name as one - pours this oil on his body in preparation for burial. She is probably giving him the most valuable item that she owns. Instead of waiting for him to die she is giving it to him in the here and now. She is saying that what we do right now is so much more important than what happens after we die. We don't need to wait until this life has gone to give our most valuable asset because the lives that we LIVE are our most valuable assets. By pouring her perfume on him she is saying - I am living my life for Jesus. I am not waiting until I die (or you die, Jesus) to have the Life that you offer.

The disciples reaction shows just how little they get it. They say that this is a waste. Her perfume could have been sold for a year's wages and the money given to the poor. What we forget is that all of this is taking place in the home of a poor person. Not just a poor person, an excluded person. Jesus does not talk about the poor in some abstract "over there" sort of way. No, Jesus goes to their homes for dinner as he is preparing to lose his life. Jesus is not concerned with the ability to throw money at the poor so that they are no longer poor. He is trying to create a new system where people are valued because of their humanity not because of their wealth. As long as we fall into the trap of believing that if we just give enough money to the poor then we will eventually eradicate poverty we will never overcome poverty. This is lie is tempting because it seems to address the basic cause. Why are the poor, poor? They do not have money. Yes, that is the definition of 'poor'. But that does not answer why. Why are they (we?) poor? We are poor because our society has been built to create a class of people that slaves away to serve those in power. We have been programmed to see poverty as something that we can fix as individuals. That is impossible. Poverty is a system of power that must be dismantled.

Jesus understood this. The disciples that followed him did not. They were probably uncomfortable because they were in the house of an unclean man just before one of the holiest holidays. They were probably thinking that Jesus had just ruined all their plans to celebrate Passover in Jerusalem. Now they see this opportunity to show how much they support the poor. Look at this waste of money on perfume that should be used after Jesus is dead! Why are you embalming him before he dies they cry. Why can't we just take that money and give it to the poor? They desperately want to try and prove that they get it. That they understand that we have to fight luxury and give money to the poor. That is not the solution.

The solution is a revolution that has no room for exploitation. A revolution that has no room for poverty. But also a revolution that is just as intolerant of greed.

I finally see what Jesus means when he says that the "poor will always be with you." He is really giving a command that we will always be with the poor. We will be among them. We will be poor so that we can combat a system that values people based on money. Finally this passage makes sense to me.