A New Way of Thinking

Learning a new language is not jsut a learning how to speak again, it's learning a new way of thinking.

For example, look at these two sentences in English.

I am a doctor.
I am in the kitchen.

The conjugated form of "to be" in both those sentences is the same. In Spanish look at these same sentences

Soy doctora.
Estoy en la cocina.

In Spanish these two sentences use two completely different verbs. The verb "ser" is generally more permanent, your nationality, your occupation etc - but yet you do NOT use it when describing your marital status. Apparently, that's not permanent.

Is there a difference for me, as a native English speaker, between "being" in Guatemala and "being" a student? No. Yet fro a native Spanish speaker their "being" would be different.

Another difference that makes me think is "being" hungry, or thirsty, or cold or hot. In Spanish (and French) you are not hungry. You have hunger. The noun belongs to you - there is not adjective.

Does my description of hunger change the way I think about it? I'm here in Guatemala not just to learn the correct conjugations of ser and estar but also to learn to think in a different way, to begin to empathize and understand a new place through their language.

quick update about my arrival and first impressions

I made it safely to Guatemala. I am living with a host family. They have two kids, an 18 year old daughter and a 15 year old son. (there could be a third, but I haven´t met him yet and I´m not really clear with
what´s been told to me).
I arrived in Guatemala city at about 7 am this morning. I had absolutely no problems going through customs and getting money. In fact, I actually made it to the bus station in time for the 8 o´clock bus (I had been planning on taking the 10:30 one). I rode that for about four hours, then figured out how to call the number of my school and they picked me up about 15 minutes later to take me to my host family.

The host family has been really nice so far. They made an interesting lunch with a fried cake of yuca root.

It is pretty cold and rainy here. It has been raining and chilly since I arrived. I think I´ll have to buy another sweater, at least. I don´t think this is normal because everyone is mentioning how cold it is.

Also, I realize how much Spanish I understand but I have a very hard time even constructing basic sentences. So we´ll see. The daughter, Diana sat with me before lunch and was very patient with me. It is necessary. There are also two Canadian girls staying in the house with me. One of them is leaving tomorrow and then I´ll move into the room she has, which apparently is bigger and more comfortable. Although, after a five hour nap this afternoon, I feel pretty
comfortable in the small room.

So I´ve made it safely and I am so glad I´m here! There is nothing like looking at a new country for the first time. I´ll never be able to see Guatemala for the first time again. It´s an exhilerating feeling!

What we know about food.

I recently read this article on NPR.com The article is about the FDA and their pending approval of salmon that has been genetically engineered to grow faster than regular salmon. The quote that struck me was when a supporter of this company said, “People eat chicken. It’s all farmed. People don’t think twice about it. A switch of the mindset has to happen for the consumer for seafood, for fish.”

I actually agree with this man, but I think the switch of mindset needs to be more complete. We need to start thinking twice about where our food comes from. The recent salmonella outbreak in eggs is just one example, but there are countless others. According to this site, Salmonella kills 583 people in the US every year and costs us $3 billion a year. Yet, we are still trying to produce the cheapest meat and vegetables possible instead of looking at the total cost, including the cost to health.

I recently started growing a garden in my back yard. I hope that I will be able to harvest some vegetables out of it this year and start to eat my own produce. We need to think about where our food comes from and not just eat whatever is put in front of us.

I do need to make a disclaimer here. Although I write this and feel this, I have not yet had the gumption to put it into practice. I still eat all meats and vegetables. Perhaps I will change my ways, but I find other factors, besides farming practices, influence my decision about what to eat and where. However, I think that I should have the right to decide.

One more point about the genetically modified Salmon. If the FDA does approve it, they will approve it without any caveat that it must be labeled as genetically modified. In essence the FDA will be taking away our right to choose whether or not we eat this farmed fish that has modified genes. Even if I have not interest in changing my eating habits I still should have the right to know what I'm eating.

tired and feeling strange

I am tired - mainly because I didn't sleep much last night - but I am also feeling strange.

Whenever a big trip is coming up a small pit of excitement/anxiety/nervousness/unknowingness/uncertainty wells up in my stomach and sits there growing bigger every moment as I get closer to the day of departure. This time I feel like that small ball is making it hard for me to focus on my friends and family here in Austin. I'm living, breathing, thinking, and smelling Guatemala.

My anticipation for Guatemala makes me think of that phrase "Hurry up and wait." That is what I'm doing right now. I'm hurtling towards my 'departure day' at a million miles a minute, but I'm not leaving for Guatemala. I'm leaving for Chicago. It feels like a false start - like I'm misleading myself. I am amped up and excited and looking forward to my trip which starts Monday, but it doesn't really start Monday. (Well it does, just not THIS Monday). I am hurrying towards this date so that I can wait another week in a different city.

However, I am also looking forward to my conference in Chicago. I am glad that I made the decision to stay in the US for this meeting. I know that the PJD can be powerful and I'm glad that I'll be able to shape it's future forms all over the world.

I am glad that my trip is beginning with this weekend of reflection about the future. I know that although I am going to Guatemala to learn Spanish I am also going so that I can begin to think more about my future. I want to reflect on where my life has been and where I would like it to go. Starting with an intentional reflection with others of similar values/beliefs is a good way to begin my journey south.

The small pit in my stomach is growing ever so slightly even as I write this very post. I hope that I will be able to contain it until I land in just over a week in Guatemala City!

Planning and Packing

I am not really a planner, I'm much more of a spur of the moment kind of person. It is actually hard for me to focus and plan this trip for more than two weeks. Once I decide to do something I want to do it. My trip seems spontaneous, but that is the only way I do things.

Just after I started looking at new jobs I also started looking at flights. Somehow the massive amount of time I have now and the small amount of money made me think that perhaps I had a way to travel. (Traveling is like a drug - once you've gone to a foreign country you need to go again and again. I need to get my fix. Honestly, this fix is going to be different than anything I've ever done before.) I looked at some programs in 'safe' and 'easy' places that I had already been, like France and Spain or Switzerland but the pull of something new and different (and practical) brought me to Xela. Xela (the nickname for Quetzaltenango) is the second largest city in Guatemala with about 300,000 people. It is also not touristy, except for Spanish language classes. I should actually learn a lot of Spanish while I'm there! From the day the idea was born in my brain to the day I bought my ticket was 8 days. Eight days to decide that I am ready to change my life, again.

I have been planning, but I have not yet begun packing. Packing is something that I like to do at the last minute. I enjoy that rush not knowing if you'll fit everything in or not and then making it (almost all the time!) and then finding out that you didn't bring the plugs you needed but you did bring that really unnecessary green sweater. I like that thrill.

Change comes with no warning...

Exactly two weeks ago I found out that my car was going to cost more to repair than I paid for it. (It was my first car too!). I was struggling with the decision to buy another car, when due to my income I didn't really have the money to afford a car. (Luckily, my friend lent me his car for two weeks)

Exactly 10 days ago I found out that my cafe where I worked was closing. I have just now come to accept the fact that it has actually closed and that I am unemployed.

Exactly 1 week ago, on what was supposed to be my last shift at work, I got food poisoning.

Needless to say I had a pretty bad week. However, I am grateful for this opportunity for change. I called one of my good friends yesterday to tell her all of this news and then I asked her if she knew what I was going to do now. I think her response shows how well she knows me. She said "You're going to go somewhere awesome and do something amazing, even though you have no money, but you'll make it work."

I am letting my lack of a job and a car give me the freedom to travel. I have said (for many years now) that I want to learn Spanish. I have tried CD's. I have tried informal classes with friends here. I have talked about learning Spanish - but I have not committed. I know that the only way to learn is to immerse myself in the language. That is just what I am going to do.

A friend of mine recommended that I go to Guatemala. I have a found a school that offers one-on-one instruction and a home stay for a very reasonable price. So, once I have my subleasing arranged for my house here I'll be booking airplane tickets and reserving a place in my school.

I am making positive change in my life. I'm actually glad that I lost my job. Although I am not looking forward to my job search when I return, I was not happy with my job before. I now have an excuse and a push to find a job that will be more fulfilling for me and will hopefully be more of a 'career' job.