Timing

Timing is everything, or so they say. Sometimes I have to agree with them. Yesterday timing meant everything to me. A few minutes was the difference between me being on the flight I had booked and me standing in the airport cursing my luck.

I could have made the flight, but of course I made stupid mistakes that you make because you are rushing and then you make more mistakes that make you later and then I was so late the I could not check my bags. I could not get on my flight without my bags so I am still here in Chicago.

Missing a flight is not the end of the world, however it is very difficult for me. I DO NOT miss flights. I consider myself a pretty savvy traveler. I make many flights a year, yet I have never missed a flight. I can handle missing luggage or a plane being delayed or even perhaps running to catch a train - but I cannot miss a flight.

One reason that missing a flight is so hard for me is that there is no one else to blame. I'd like to say it was my cousin's fault since she was driving me. Or I would like to say it was my brother's fault for keeping me at his house until 3 am. But in reality the blame lies squarely on my shoulders. I have no one else to blame, even partly. I lie sometimes and say this person told me that or this person didn't do that. Yet, I have to reckon with my own failure.

You see this is the hard part for me. I do not like to look at my mistakes and where I mess up. (Which I'm assuming I'm not the only one in this category). I generally do things well. I am pretty successful in life and when I can't do things well, I generally don't do them or I accept that I can't do them. (like climbing trees, hiking or tying balloons) When I think that if I put out a reasonable amount of effort I should succeed and then I don't - that is when I'm the angriest. I'm angry at myself for missing my plane. There was no real harm done. (except to my credit card).