Stress

Dealing with stress is not exactly my forte. My preference is just to hope things sort themselves out. Similarly, even though I will be unemployed relatively shortly I have not yet begun a serious job search. (If anyone that reads this blog has any leads, anywhere, please let me know). I am not really sure what I want to do and I'm not sure that I want to say goodbye to Geneva. It's like if I start looking for a job I am really saying that this phase of my life in Geneva is over. It's like I'm not fully valuing my presence here by thinking about what I will do next.

Although I have not looked for a job that has not stopped me from stressing about it. Everyone asks me, "So.. what's next?" My honest response is "Wherever the wind blows me." I am confronted with this question at least 5 times a day. Every time I wince a little inside as I am reminded that I do not know where I will be or what I will be doing in just over a month. It makes me nervous, it makes me stressed, it makes me fidgety. I suppose I could just say I'll depend on God - which is probably the "good Christian" response. But yet I know that I cannot depend on God without doing any work myself. But... I still haven't started looking at anything seriously.

Some day soon.. Some day soon.....