One Week

It's Official. I've been in Switzerland exactly one week. One Week! It has been an enormous week. Things I've done this week (not in order of importance)

• Opened a Bank Account - I did that this morning, actually!


• Learned to type on a Swiss keyboard (The Y and Z are reversed, and various punctuation is different)


• Saw two possible housing situations, which I am not going to take


• Got a video card - I can rent videos now!


• Made Banana Bread


• Went grocery shopping


• Read some of the Book of Romans


• Started working with the WSCF


• Attended a meeting that United Nations European Headquarters


• Got a mobile phone with a Swiss number (I will email that out if anyone is interested)


• Got lost


• Had fondue


• Attended Emmanuel Episcopal Church for the first time


• Made some new friends


• Went to a meeting about the Millenium Development Goals


• Went to a party


• Ate a Kebab


• Baked a chocolate cake


• Continued Reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller


• Put in my application for my "permis de résidence"


• Learned what WCC, YWCA, UNDP, LWF, and ACT mean.

My week has been very eventful. I am very excited about the WSCF, the work we do and the work that I will be doing to make that happen. I am still in the process of figuring out exactly what my job will look like. I am very hopeful, though. I am praying for guidance in my work and personally as I set up a life here in Geneva.

First Impressions and First Days

In my last post I simply stated that I was here in Geneva and that I had made it to the offices of the World Student Christian Federation. I will tell you a little more about exactly what I've been doing in the past 48 hours. It has been an eventful 48 hours.
Noon Wednesday: I arrive at the Geneva International Airport. After a small luggage scare (I thought my bags did not arrive, but in reality I was just at the wrong turnstile..oops). Christine Housel meets me at customs. She is my direct supervisor. I had never met her before so she had a nice little sign that said "Maryann Philbrook". Christine is an American woman who has been living in Geneva for 7 years now. She is also an Episcopalian. (Although we are an ecumenical groups everyone that works here is Anglican).

13:00 Lunch with Christine at Cafe du soleil. We have traditional fondue. Very tasty! Hot melty cheese that we dip small pieces of bread into. Yum. We also have a side cured meats and a small salad. A perfect introduction to Geneva.

15:00 Meet people at the office. Charité, the Human Rights intern. She is amazing. I'm looking forward to working with her. Henriette, the accountant. She's in charge of money. I don't get to meet Monika or Marlin. They're both out of the office. I get to spend a little bit of time on the internet.

17:00 Get a ride to my temporary home. Michael, the director is out of town for the month of March. He and his wife and kids are at home, in New Zealand, visiting friends and family while he is getting ordained. So I am staying in his house and using his office. Pretty swank digs for someone just arriving. I was so worried about where I was going to stay, but God and the people here at WSCF took care of me. Thank You!

18:00 After my shower, I go to the local grocery store. I wander around in a jet-lagged daze and pick out a few items for dinner and breakfast the next morning.

19:00 zzzzz...zzzzz...

6:45 am. Woke up and can't go back to sleep. That could be because I went to bed at 7 o'clock last night... Christine had said she would pick me up at 9 am to take me to the Office to get my ID card. So I have some time. I make myself a leisurely breakfast and then I decide to read the Student World from 2007. The theme is migration; there are articles from students and clergy discussing different ideas.

9:15 No Christine. I decide to brave the Swiss phones and use the one in the house to call the number I had been given for Christine. An automated message in German. Oops. I try the number I had been given for Charité. No answer. I try the WSCF offices. No answer. What to do next?

9:45 Still no Christine. I try all the numbers again. Finally, when I call the number for Charité I hear an American accented voice. Christine? Apparently, she had not recovered from her jet lag yet - she got back from the States on Tuesday. So she had not slept at all the night before and then slept through her alarm. Change of plans. She gave me directions to the office on the Public Transit. Let's meet at the office for a 1pm meeting at the UN.

10:00 I take the tram into town. It is surprisingly easy. Michael lives about 45 minutes out from the office. I simply take the tram until the final stop. Then I transfer to a bus and get off and walk to the front doors of the Ecumenical Center. (The Ecumenical Center is where the World Council of Churches is headquartered). This is where it gets difficult. This building was clearly built in phases. Some of the stairs and elevators go up to the 3rd floor. However, I work on the 4th floor. I have the receptionist call the office so that someone can meet me to walk me up to the offices.

11:15 I arrive and Henriette guides me to the offices. She looks to see if Monika is there. No Monika. Let's meet Marlin next. Henriette knocks on a closed door and dumps me into a conference of some sort. I sit down next to Charité. Marlin, I assume, is talking about his advocacy work in Zimbabwe. It is fascinating to hear about the work that he has done and the real threats that he is facing and overcoming to help bring stability to his country. Very inspiring guy.

12.45 Charité and I discuss our upcoming visit to the UN. It is also her first time. Christine arrives and whisks us away to the UN. Since we are running late she drops us off the Security Entrance where we can get our badges. She runs off to the meeting. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes (only to discover that an agent was free the whole time but was not signalling us!) we finally talk to an agent. We give him our paperwork and he makes us fill out another form. Then we take a picture and get a badge. I have a badge for the UN. I can go anytime I want to any of the "public" events. I will have to find some in the next few weeks to take advantage of this privilege.

13:35 Wander the halls of the UN looking for the "NGO Room." No one seems to have heard of it or know where it is. The meeting started at 1, so we are running rather late and we're both desperately hungry. Finally, in a last ditch effort before giving up and going to the Cafeteria we ask a security guard. He DOES know where it is. It's actually next to the Cafeteria. We find it and interrupt the meeting, only 45 minutes late.

14:30 Meeting adjourned. We leave with Christine. She runs into a colleague, who's statement she has to sign. Charité goes back to the office for a 3 o'clock meeting. I hang out with Christine while we wait to sign the statements. (At the UN NGO's can create statements about upcoming resolutions. Other NGO's can then sign them, putting more weight behind the statement.) I chat with some other interns that work in this same building, but for a different organization.

16:25 Finally make it back to the office. Get a minute to check my email.

17:15 Christine calls to me from the hall. An impromptu celebration of my arrival. Complete with Chocolate Cake and Sparkling Apple Juice. So sweet!

18:00 Charité and I leave to run some errands. I get a monthly bus pass. She tries to get her phone fixed, only the store is closed. So we end up eating at Kebab place near the train station.

19:45 Head home.

20:10 I arrive at my temporary flat. Read some more the book Searching for God Knows What.

21:00 Get into bed to read.... I can't believe I've only been in this country for 40 hours or so.

Okay, well that's enough for now. I will post more later on my reflections on all these amazing things.

Overwhelming

Things are seeming a little overwhelming here right now. I have been so focused on leaving and saying goodbye and spending time with people that I have been neglectful of my fundraising. Now things have piled up a bit and I am feeling overwhelmed. I am also overwhelmed by all my wonderful friends here. I want to spend as much time with them as possible.

I also think that I am daunted by the fact that I am actually going to go to Geneva without enough money to support me for an entire year. I am really relying on my faith. I have raised as much money as I had hoped to by this time, but I am still short of my entire salary. However, as one of my coworkers constantly reminds me, God will provide. I am going to live as if I had faith. I will live it until it becomes true. I suppose that is what faith is. I still feel overwhelmed, though.

Yesterday I did spend some time working on my fundraising. Instead of going out with one of my friends I wrote Thank You notes to the people from my Church here in Austin that have given me money. I also called the priest from my Church in Los Angeles and talked with her about my trip. Unfortunately they cannot give me any monetary support, although I am sure their prayers will be with me. Prayers are very valuable. Perhaps even more valuable than direct support.

If I am going to be living like I have faith I suppose I have to let go of my fears that overwhelm me. Maybe tomorrow.

Last Sunday in Austin

Yesterday was my final Sunday in Austin. I'm going to my parents' house next weekend and then I fly out on Tuesday. A week from tomorrow. So soon!

Yesterday I did many things, including going to Church twice. I went to the morning service to make a final announcement about my trip but found out that we don't do announcements during Lent. So instead I left and went with my friends to Dim Sum. Dim Sum is one of my favorite meals. After that I took a nap and then headed back to Church for my service. I go the six o'clock service at St. James'. It is such a relaxed wonderful service. I feel at home there. They also sent me off with a prayer of traveling mercies. I teared up a little in the service as I realized that would be my last six o'clock service for some time. I am going to miss that place a lot. After the service I got tacos with a couple of my friends. I am going to miss my friends there too.

The sermon at church was about suffering. Suffering is a topic that is hard to talk about. It is hard to talk about because it is hard to live through. However, the priest made a great point in his sermon that suffering is a part of our human condition. We cannot choose not to suffer. We cannot live our lives in such a way as to avoid suffering. We suffer. However, we have Jesus in those moments and hours and years of suffering. We have the hope and knowledge of a love greater than ourselves.

A note about my post from yesterday. I used the New Jerusalem Bible for the first half of the post. Then I went home and finished the second half; my Bible is NRSV. So that is why the translations are a bit different. I also want to say that I only put down what I think; I didn't use any books or any references.

Answering the Birthday Questions

I ended my last post with the two questions that my family always asks on birthdays. The first is "What was the most significant event of the past year?" The second is similar: "What do you claim as the most significant event of the upcoming year?" I have been answering these questions since I can remember having a birthday. When I was younger it was often a trite answer of something that had happened in the recent past. Now I like to think and reflect on these questions. Really think about all the significant things that have happened to me in the past 12 months and then find the one that is the most significant. This year that is especially difficult. In the past year I have moved from Cannes, France to Austin, TX and prepared to move to Geneva, Switzerland. I have made so many friends that I know I will have for life. I have had an addition to my immediate family in the person of my nephew, Jacob Oliver Philbrook. I have changed jobs three times.

When my mother and brother posed the questions to me on Tuesday, at first I pleaded that I should wait until my party on Friday. I wanted time to think. Then it struck me. I know the most significant event of the last year. It was none of these momentous things I mentioned above. The most significant event was a small moment that happened at a monastery in Taize, France. During my week there I decided to spend the last three days in silence. I knew that my time in Cannes was coming to an end and I was not sure what the next step in my life should be. I wanted to pray and listen to see if I could hear something from God. I was contemplating moving to Chicago to be with my family there or possibly moving back to Los Angeles to be with friends from college. I had not really thought about Austin. I was even considering staying Cannes and working with my church there. All of these ideas were swirling in my head and I was not sure which path was the path that God wanted me to take. I spent many hours in the sanctuary praying. During one of my prayers it suddenly came to me, with clarity, that I should move to Austin, TX. I had been here a few times, but not spent significant amounts of time here. At first I thought, no, this can't be where God wants me to move, yet the more I thought about it and prayed about it the more sure it became. While I was in silence at Taize it was easy to trust and have faith that God wanted me to move to Austin. I was still two months out from moving and of course I would always do what God told me to do. As I came closer to the impending departure and even as I moved here I began to doubt. I began to doubt that God had ever spoken to me. I began to doubt that moving here was a good idea. I began to doubt that it was right for me. Now, as I am preparing to leave Austin for one year, with the hope of coming back, I see just how right Austin was for me. I have made amazing friends here. I have found a church home here. Austin was where I needed to be. Making the decision to move to Austin was not easy, but it was the right decision. I suppose that is why I listen to God, I have faith that the path God shows me is the right path for me. The most significant event of the past year was my decision to move to Austin and then following through on it.

Question number two. "What do you claim as the most signifcant event for the next year?" Once again I wanted an easy out - a way to answer without answering. I wanted to claim that I have no idea what my most significant event of the next year will be. This is true. I am embarking on a mysterious journey very soon. However, even as I do not know that specifics of the most significant event, I can claim that moving to Geneva will probably be the most signifcant event. The move to Geneva is directly related to the move that I took to Austin. Both were made/are being made on faith. I do not have enough money to support myself in Geneva. I do not know how I am going to make it for a year. I have been telling God that I'm not ready to be poor. But, I have faith that this is what God wants me to do. I have faith that God will provide for me. I also have doubts and fears. I have fears of failing. I have seen how well it worked out moving to Austin. When I have my doubts I can just remember what God did for me here. I am hoping and praying that I can remember that. It's often easy to forget. I forget most of the time. I claim that the most significant for the next year will be me moving to Geneva.


On an unrelated note, I got my passport back today from the Swiss Embassy. I have a shiny new visa inside it! There is nothing stopping me now from going. I have my plane tickets. I have my visa. I have all that I need. God will provide the rest. I pray that I can live that. As the preacher said last Sunday at church, the Gospel is not something we believe or preach - rather it is something we live.

Happy Valentine's Day

There is nothing too interesting going on in my fundraising and my preparations for Geneva. I feel that I have hit a stagnant state of my preparations. I still have things I could be doing (my To Do list is VERY long) but I even so I feel like I have done about as much as I can do. Fr. Jeff (at St. James) had an idea that people who have already given support to me stand up during our service at six o'clock and say that they are supporting. Maybe then other people in the service will do the same. Two of my friends are more than willing to do that for me. Another woman in the church, who gave me money, is not willing to. I completely understand her reasoning - but I wish she could because I think she is influential in the church. But I respect her decision to do that.

I am leaving in just about one month, hopefully. I guess I need to start packing and thinking about all those type of things. I am such a last minute packer that I just assume that I will be in a frenzy the night before I leave and stay up until a few hours before my plane takes off. I now have more things to add to my To Do List.

I suppose I'm also getting nervous about actually going. I somehow feel like I hoodwinked these people into giving me this job. The WSCF is even more amazing and awesome than I thought they were. I recently read their Annual Report from 2007. It sounds like they are doing such great stuff around the world. They want me to help them continue to do it. I am just in awe of the work that the students involved with SCM's are doing. The more I learn about the WSCF the more I am so excited to be a part of their mission. I hope that I can help them to keep on doing the work that they are doing. Part of the reason that I feel inadequate is because that there is always this idea that extraordinary people do these extraordinary things. In reality it is normal people and everyday people that do these extraordinary things. I know I'm not anything extraordinary - but the work that the WSCF does is DEFINITELY extraordinary. I somehow feel that I should be extraordinary too.

All of these emotions are coupled with my emotions of sadness and fear at leaving a place that I've called home for the past 8 months. At the same time I am excited to have a place to come back to. I can still call Austin home, even if I happen to live in Geneva for a little while.

Christmas Thoughts

It has been a few days since I sat opening gifts with my family. I always love Midnight Mass. This year I went with my parents to St. James service. I always love listening to the sermons there. The priest is very astute and articulate. His sermon this Christmas Morn was about emptying ourselves or not being full. We have to empty ourselves in order to let God in. I am hoping that I can learn to live this out.

Now that the Christmas time is over I am beginning to think about what comes next. I am beginning to think about the fact that I will be going to Geneva in February. Although I am very excited about this job that I have agreed to take, I am still uncertain as to what exactly I will be doing. However that makes me much less nervous than the fact that I do not know where my funding will come from to make this dream job into a reality. I am still unsure of how I will convince people to believe in me enough. My faith in myself, as my faith in God, as my faith in humanity, waivers. Some days I have so much faith that I am overwhelmed with all the possibility and the certainty of the goodness of these possibilities. Other days I am so unsure of myself, of the ability of God, and of the goodness of other people that I am certain that I must have been insane when I had that faith. Yet at the same time I use that moment when I had clarity as a rock, as a beacon, as a memory to call me back to the faith. I am in that moment now of uncertainty. I am in that moment now where I am overwhelmed by the tasks in front of me. I have to believe that during that moment of brief light I was not delusional. Instead of focusing on the time that I had doubts I must focus on the times when I have faith.


All of this is to say that I am preparing to begin an endeavor that is more difficult than anything I have ever done. I am beginning a new year that is uncertain. I am hoping that this year is full of unexpected surprises.