Monday, August 24, 2009

Travels and other assorted things...

Travels. I have officially started my vacation. While I took a month off of work - studying French 10 hours a day is not really vacation. On Friday my French class ended, surreptitiously with a picnic in the rain in Parc de Bastions. Then off to the airport. My friends from class accompanied me to the airport to say goodbye and give me one last bisous before we all left to go back to our own countries. I landed about 7 pm in Manchester where my brother and cousin were waiting to meet me. My brother married a nice English lady and now they live in her hometown with their son who is 7. My oldest nephew, so far his favourite game has been pretending to be King Arthur and beating me up with a sword. My cousin, who is 14, is spending this summer with them to get an international experience. (In my family after you've turned 14 you need to get some kind of independent, international experience... I was sent to India and Taiwan for six and two weeks respectively with my two cousins who were 12 and 13).

Saturday was Liverpool. We saw the Beatles Museum and Abbey Road. No one told us that Abbey Road was in London... so we printed off directions to Abbey Road, in Liverpool. After driving around in circles for about 30 minutes we finally found it. It is only about a block long.. and then someone said - oh.. right Abbey Road is in London. ;) We also ate at a French Restaurant.... Go figure.

Sunday was Church and then hiking around here (in the rain - which I was told was British sunshine since it was only sprinkling). Then tonight I'm off to Edinburgh.

But I have also been thinking about things. As my last post evidenced I have been a bit stressed about what I will do next. I finally put in one job application! I also need to just relax. I say I'm a person with faith in God, but then I stress and worry and panic and think that nothing will work out - when I know from experience and from the Bible that God ALWAYS provides abundantly. Two examples - First, I was quite stressed about how I was going to pay for this trip, but it all worked out and I have more than enough money now. Second, my friend who I'm staying with in Edinburgh hadn't got in touch with me since I booked my tickets. I was worried that if she didn't get in touch with I wouldn't have a place to stay in Edinburgh and because it's the middle of the Festival I wouldn't be able to find a hostel and I'd end up sleeping on the street. However, I simply emailed her my phone number and she got in touch with me immediately. Simple - yet I stress and worry and imagine all the worst things possible. I need to trust. This is going back to my future plans. I need to trust that wherever I am, whatever happens God will provide for me abundantly. (This does not mean that I do not need to work too - only I need to be open to God's work too). I am trying to remember that. I suppose that is what it means to have faith - to be open to God's possibilities in our lives and try and remember that we are not the ones that make things happen, but God.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Stress

Dealing with stress is not exactly my forte. My preference is just to hope things sort themselves out. Similarly, even though I will be unemployed relatively shortly I have not yet begun a serious job search. (If anyone that reads this blog has any leads, anywhere, please let me know). I am not really sure what I want to do and I'm not sure that I want to say goodbye to Geneva. It's like if I start looking for a job I am really saying that this phase of my life in Geneva is over. It's like I'm not fully valuing my presence here by thinking about what I will do next.

Although I have not looked for a job that has not stopped me from stressing about it. Everyone asks me, "So.. what's next?" My honest response is "Wherever the wind blows me." I am confronted with this question at least 5 times a day. Every time I wince a little inside as I am reminded that I do not know where I will be or what I will be doing in just over a month. It makes me nervous, it makes me stressed, it makes me fidgety. I suppose I could just say I'll depend on God - which is probably the "good Christian" response. But yet I know that I cannot depend on God without doing any work myself. But... I still haven't started looking at anything seriously.

Some day soon.. Some day soon.....

Monday, August 17, 2009

Back from France..

So I was only in two countries this weekend. (We thought about hopping in Germany just to say we had been in three.. but decided against it). We ended up in Mulhouse, France. There's really not anything there. No one bothered to tell us, until we were there, that the 15th of August is a holiday. Of course it is... right the 15 of August... It's Ascension Day.. I think.

We arrived and thanks to Couchurfing.com a guy from Mulhouse took us in for the night. It was a very good evening, involving good food, good wine, good cheese, good company, good beer, good jazz and good rum. Not in that order.

Sunday I walked around Mulhouse a bit and went to the Temple. Mulhouse, as we learned, is the only French City that does not have a Cathedral in it's central square. It has a Temple, which is the French word for a Protestant Cathedral. Apparently Mulhouse, is reformed. Sunday morning, I happened to be up and by the Church while the service was beginning. The music attracted me. So I went in. It is a beautiful church. As I walked in the pastor was just beginning his sermon.

His sermon was very moving. His main point was that when we try to analyze and understand the Bible we often miss the point. The Bible can be analyzed, but to have faith you have to accept and just wait with the Bible. It's not a question of head knowledge, but of heart knowledge. It's not a question of following all the rules, but it's a question of love. When we try to take the Bible and create rules and regulations based on the "clear" laws we end up creating a religion of death, not a religion of life. His story to illustrate this point is the passage in Luke where Jesus says something about entering through a narrow gate and following a narrow path. (I think). The pastor pointed out that this passage has been used, and still is used, by many Christians to condemn others. It has been used as a justification for moral snobbery. It has been used to make religion into a religion of death. Instead, he proposes that this path be read in an individualistic sense. Jesus is telling us that the path and the door for our own salvation is narrow because it is only big enough for us. We are individually saved. We cannot worry about the salvation of anyone else. Therefore our path is narrow, just wide enough for us. We should not look right or look left to see who else is saved, instead we must only follow our path. (I think this could be taken to an extreme position of not caring about the rest of the world - but he said that entering through the gate was only the beginning - the rebirth if you will.... so after you go through the gate things are different.. metaphorically of course).

Personally, I think I have been trying to analyze too much. I have been trying to fit God into my little box of what I can understand instead of just being with God and with God's Word, the Bible (or Jesus). I pray that I can spend more time just being.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

It's Saturday morning...

It's Saturday morning, a little after 9 am, and I am leaving on a road trip (destination still undecided) in a little less than an hour.

Last night was my going away party from work. For those of you that don't know, I am leaving WSCF at the end of September. It was also a welcoming party. We have a new Accountant. I am realizing that I need to invest in the relationships here in Geneva that are important to me. I only have a month or so before things will be completely different. During this month I need to take advantage of the fact that I am still here. I don't think this means that I need to be all sad or sentimental (yet) but I do need to just take every opportunity I get to focus on people. People are what count in this world.

I was just reading this blog. The author talks about how what the Church really needs is mentors. I agree partly, but I think authentic relationships are perhaps a better way to describe what is lacking in our Churches. We need people that are willing to celebrate with us when things are wonderful, that are willing to cry with us when things are hard, that are willing to pray with us always, that are willing to challenge us when we are wayward. We need people that are willing to get involved in our messy lives. We all have messy lives; we've all done things we're not proud of; we've all needed a friend and mentor. The Church could be the place where we find that, but often the Church is where we find people who have it all together. People that want to show how little they need other people. When we don't see think we need other people, perhaps we don't think we need God. I am writing this because this is a trap I often fall into - I forget that I need God and other people. I forget that I cannot do this alone. If Churches could be places where people learn to be with each other and pray with each other than I think Churches would see that they are relevant and that they can and do make a difference. As long as Churches continue to be exclusive for the "saved", they will continue pushing away people that recognize their own need for authentic, mysterious, community.

Spontaneity helps too! That's why we haven't decided where we're going on our road trip yet!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wednesday...

I am exactly half way through with my French Class. I have been taking this class for 1 1/2 weeks! It seems like so little time, but I have already developed a rhythm, decided what I like, what I don't like. I do not miss being at work. (although I have been to the building twice...) I do miss the people at work. I am learning a lot, but working in a second language is tiring. The work we are doing is difficult, but also just living in French is tiring. It takes so much more energy. Most of the time I do not have to think too much to phrase my sentences, however, sometimes I know I do things incorrectly. Then I have to rephrase my sentence. Or sometimes I cannot think of a word to explain an idea, so I have to use ten. I like it. I think my favorite part is the creative writing class. I am enjoying learning how to think creatively in my second language, learning the nuances that make the language a living language, learning the differences between synonyms. In my language class I learn these things and then in the creative writing class I am offered an opportunity to practice them. It is amazing. I am also learning about the others in my class. Creative writing is a time that reflects better people's true character.

This weekend I think I am going to take another road trip, although I have no idea where.

Here is another picture from my trip last weekend.

Monday, August 10, 2009

A busy, busy weekend!

I thought this would be a slow weekend. I didn't have any plans when the weekend started, I just figured I'd go watch the fireworks Saturday night with whoever and play it cool this weekend... boy was I wrong!

Friday I got an email suggesting a road trip. One of my friends has a car for two weeks while a colleague of his is out of town, so on the spur of the moment we decided that Saturday had to be a day to travel. When I asked on Friday night what the plans were for Saturday I got a "plans for losers." At 1:30 pm on Saturday we decided to make our epic trip to .... wait for it... wait for it....

ITALY

That's right, on the spur of the moment I went to Italy. (My second time and both were very spontaneous trips). Armed with a small black and white map that showed the general route between Geneva and Aosta and a CD player the required a mysterious four digit code we began our trip. After a small detour in Geneva that involved following signs which were intended for bikes we finally made it to the highway. Luckily there were signs on the highway because our map was not very precise. The trip was a mix of our renditions of the Beatles and popular TV show theme songs from our childhood. Since the CD player didn't work we had to find some way to amuse ourselves. The trip through the tunnel de mont blanc only took thirty minutes.

After traversing two countries we finally made it to Aosta. In Aosta we attempted to drive down a pedestrian only street, which an Italian woman was nice enough to explain to us in French, because of our French license plates.

The highlight of the trip, for me, was the cappuccino. We found a small cafe hidden behind a busy shopping street. It was the definition of adorable. Everything was just so carefully put together and even the bathroom was impeccable. We ordered our cappuccinos and enjoyed the real italian coffee. I've always heard it said that Italians make the best coffee, but now I believe it.

Then we went to the Roman Ruins! They are probably from the 11th Century!

After spending just under two hours we decided to head back so we could catch the fireworks in Geneva. However, we did not realize that every other Italian also had this idea. So we waited... and waited... and waited.. to go through the Tunnel de mont blanc. It only took us an hour and a half. During this time we managed to play fun games like the "spelling game," "20 questions," and "movie names."

Saturday was very tiring. Sunday I helped build a labyrinth. It was a great success. We were just building the "practice" version, so I hope the real one is as good.

Then today it was back to class. I feel like I need another weekend just to recover from my weekend. I spent all weekend speaking English so it was difficult to get back into French today. I think it'll get easier.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My French Class...

I have so many adjectives I can use to complete that sentence.

My French class is amazing.
My French class is tiring.
My French class is kicking my butt.

I like the last one the best. I was placed into C15. (If you know the European standard for foreign languages that is on the high end of advanced - there is an A, B, and C, just up to 20). I think it is exactly where I need to be. Although my spoken French is decent, my written French is "pas terrible". I have no idea between when you would use the conditional and the imparfait and I didn't know until last night that there was even a tense called the future anterior. Beyond not knowing how to use them, I couldn't identify them in a sentence. I have trouble telling if a sentence is in the past, present or future. let alone talking about the mood of the verb. (This word mood here does not mean if the verb is happy or sad about being conjugated - I personally think the verbs fell violated being conjugated all the time like this in so many ways, it's just not natural).

My class has about 20 students. We are from all over the world. Eastern Europe, Asia, Latin America and North America. We don't have any Africans. We only communicate in French. French. None of us are native speakers, but it is our (excuse the pun) lingua franca. We use this as a way to express ourselves to get to know each other to learn about the language. We often use hand gestures. (You know the thing that is like this -imagine my hands going in a big circle).

Overall, I am very happy I am taking this class. It is a good break from the Ecumenical Centre. (Plus I am not going to be there during the WCC Central Committee meeting, which is coming up soon!)

I have already met some amazing people and I am looking forward to the rest of this course.

Monday, August 3, 2009

I made it through the first day

I just finished my first day of my French class.

I have not found out the results of my placement test yet. That will happen tomorrow morning. I am hoping I place into the higher intermediate or the advanced. We'll see, though.

Today in the afternoon we had the option of attending lectures. These were a chance to for us to gain some personal educational fulfillment, I assume. We are not tested on the material and they are not directly related to learning French. I chose to go the lecture of "Le francais - langue plurielle. La représentation du français chez des écrivains d'expression française en dehors de la France." Loosely translated: "French - a pluralistic language. French writing by authors outside of France." I thought it would be interesting, especially because in college I did an independent study course on the concept of the French-Maghrebian woman's identity. I was hoping to hear the professor talk about the Maghreb identity as well as authors that were not francophone that chose to express themselves in French .

During the lecture I wrote on the back of my sheet of paper "I find that there is a difference between authors that come from former colonies and french speaking countries. The first choose to write in a language of their oppressors. The second are using their native language. There is even a third category of French writers, those that choose the French language, even though they are not native speakers. " I don't think that we can lump all French writers that are not from France together simply because they are not from France. As a québécois author that the professor quoted pointed out, "Le français est ma langue maternelle. J'écris dans ma langue maternelle....C'est ma langue maternelle et je n'en ai pas d'autre" (French is my native language. I write in my native language. ... It is my native language and I don't have any other). When we put these francophone authors together with those of francophone authors from previous colonies of France or Belgium we are negating the experience of colonialism. I do not think we can begin to understand their writing unless we understand their context.

What she did talk about was how French has been viewed as a "universal" language for centuries, dating back to when Marco Polo wrote his book, "Le livre des merveilles" in French. I am not negating the importance of French, but I think that she could have approached the topic in a more nuanced way. I was also upset that NONE of the authors she mentioned were women.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Banks

I have been trying to keep on the news, I've been reading the New York Times. Last week I read a few articles about the whole Gates affair, while I found that event interesting because it became a national phenomenon, I am not compelled to write about it.

Two articles I read about banks have made me decide to write. The first is an article about how banks don't have an incentive to help homeowners refinance their loans and stay in their house. In fact, they may have an profit-driven motive to drag the process out for as long as possible, ending with the foreclosure of someones house. The second article was about the billions that wall street firms paid in bonuses in 2008. These two articles are seemingly unrelated but I they are both about the underlying brokenness of our economic system.

If banks can make a profit by selling someones house to their wholly-owned subsidiary while the homeowner is on the brink of homelessness, they can and should, if profit is their motive. A bank is ultimately not responsible to the people that it lends money to, but instead to the investors and the shareholders. Therefore profit has to be the bottom line. Money making for those at the top has to be how they decide to run their corporation. However, when a bank is in the business of financing people's lives this becomes more tricky. Although many people were reckless when they took loans they could not afford, the banks were more reckless in giving them. The bank should be the one that is being responsible, but if the bank can profit from the irresponsibility of homeowners, why should they not ? Banks are not entities with a morality. They are only concerned with making as much money as possible.

The second articles shows a similar theme, profit for the already rich, over the lives of everyday Americans. Individual traders and bankers were paid millions in bonuses last year. In a normal year, I think that bonuses that great are simply rewarding greed and unnecessary. (Can a person even spend a billion dollars in one year?) However, when these banks were given federal tax payer money they should be responsible to the tax payers, not to their already billionaire moguls. Yet, they spent this money that is given by all Americans, who pay taxes, to reward a few people that caused the crisis in the first place. How many workers did these banks lay off over the last year? How many jobs did they indirectly cause the American economy to lose? How many people in the US (and around the world) are wondering where their next meal will come from because their job was lost. Tax payers money should have been used to ensure that as many jobs were kept as possible. How many executive assistants could have kept their jobs for 5 billion dollars? How many janitors? How many para legals? How many people had to lose their jobs so that these people could have the bonuses that the have grown accustomed to having? It is outrageous that these companies continue this way.

To be fair, I found out that the House has passed a bill that would limit this sort of thing in the future. I only hope that it is effective and eventually passes the Senate. These companies have no right to spend tax payer money on their executives like this.

These two articles to me, highlight the absurdity of the American financial system. I hope and pray that this crisis will serve as a wake-up call for all Americans.